Cruel Summer

6th Cruel Summer

June 8, 7:30 PM

Stephen sent photos of him that I have never seen before, even when I was stalking him, I hadn't seen them, but oh well, I do feel special, he sent photos I did not know exist.

I inspected the three photos he sent, they all have a vintage vibe from it, like it was took from a disposable camera, he's wearing a black shirt, there was a design printed at the front of the shirt, I think it was a band, I don't seem to see it clearly, it's a little bit unreadable, then he's wearing a short that has three stripes on the side, above the knee kind of shorts though, I think they were in a vintage bar or cafe, it looked really cool, they got the juke boxes and everything.

I was surprised that he sent his photos, I wasn't even expecting him to DM me again, since he ignored me a while ago, I assumed that we would chat again in like, two or three days, I was in for a surprise.

Stephen -
"I forgot I have these photos buried in my IG archives."
"And then I thought that you would like to see them as well."

Me -
"aksjhdkahsdksha."
"Halaaa."
"Ang ganda ng  mga photosss."
"You were right, I did love them."

Stephen -
"Disposable camera yung gamit namin nung time na yan."
"Medyo alanganin kasi nga masyadong maliwanag sa loob nung pinuntahan namin."

Me -
"It turned out great naman."
"It reminded me of our last photoshoot."
"Wait pakita ko sayo."

Though It wasn't actually my photoshoot, it was my clubmate's photos, he's kind of fond of vintage kind of photos, so he takes a lot of them, then it reminded me of my clubmate's photos when I saw Stephen's, I know, it's wrong, plagiarism at its finest, I'm sorry my sweet clubmate for using your photo without consent.

Me -
"Hindi ako ang kumuha dyan."
"Pero ako yung nagdesign nung art style nung venue."

And again, that was a stupid lie, my lies have been stacking up lately, and I have absolutely zero participation on my clubmate's photos...

Stephen -
"Ang gandaa nung pagkakuha."
"Tapos yung model, yung confidence niya, grabe."
"Paano makakuha nung confidence?"

Me -
"Pero yung photo niyoo ang ganda rinnn."
"Mostly sa mga shoot namin sa studio kinukuha."

Another obvious lie, grabe, wala kaming studioooo...

Stephen -
"Alam mo."
"Never ko pang natry yung studio shoot."
"Lagi kasi kaming may gala, kaya outdoor palagi yung mga pictures ko."

Me -
"Suki ka nyan saamin sa studio namin kapag ako photographer mo HAHAHAHAH."

Delilah, uulitin ko, wala kang fucking studio, ano na lang gagawin mo kapag pumunta talaga yan? Ano yon? Sasabihin mo sakanya biglang nasunog yung imaginary studio mo kaya hindi na kayo makakapagshoot ni Stephen??

Stephen -
"Yung photoshoot kasi namin may mga nine to ten sessions kami every year."
"Ikaw?"
"My style of editing ka?"

Me -
"Hmmm."
"Ako? Style of editing?"

Stephen -
"Uu."

Me -
"Wala akong style eh."
"Kasi yung mga picture na kinukuha ko, may vision kasi ako,  may kasamang music sa photo."
"I take inspiration in music para makapag produce ako ng photo na gusto ko."
"It sounds weird but it works hahahahaha."

Stephen -
"Nahh, it doesn't sound weird at all, I promise you."
"Artistic kaaa."
"Mahilig ka sa music diba?"

Me -
"Uwaa mahilig ako sa music, why?"

Stephen -
"May recommendation sana ako na kanta."

Me -
"Ano ano?"

Stephen -
"Paragraphs by Luke Chiang."

Me -
"Sige sige, papakinggan ko waitt."

Then I searched the song recommendation on youtube.

They say if someone gives or recommends you a song, and they want you to listen to it, because the song contains the feelings of the other person, which they can't possibly say to you in words.

As I searched the song that Stephen recommended, my heart raced for no reason at all, I searched the lyrics, then I fell in love with the song.

Is there something you want to say Stephen? But it's too early to be acting like this, come on, internet love isn't possible.

Me -
"I..."
"I fell in love with the song."

Stephen -
"Ang gandaaa dibaa?"
"Tapos yung meron pa akong isa."
"As the World Caves In by Matt Maltese."
"Maganda rinn yan."

Me -
"Sige sigeee."
"Papakinggan ko lang."

I searched up another song, this song...

Stephen, may gusto ka bang ipahiwatig? Or is it just random? I am getting confused with this boy, I've never been confused about anything in my life, then you just came in, then swooped into my life without any warning, I felt things that I haven't felt, I've done questionable things to make you notice me, which I never do with any boy with the exception of you.

What's so special about you? Why wouldn't you tell me? Eversince I've talked to you, I can't understand myself anymore.

I typed a DM to him after hearing the second song he recommended.

Me -
"Ang gandaaaa."
"Pero gusto kong matutunan yung chords ng Paragraphs."

Then our chats went on and on, it's a bit of a surprise for me, me and him, chatting for long hours, he wanted a photoshoot in Baguio then he wanted to go to Tokyo, Japan, he said to me that he wanted a rainy theme kind of photoshoot, I asked him if he liked a sunny photoshoot or a night shoot, he prefers sunny, I prefer nights.

We talked about many things that night, but there was this one specific conversation that caught me off guard.

Stephen -
"Have you ever been hurt before?"

Me -
"Well yeah, I've been hurt many times."

Stephen -
"Sana hindi masarap ulam ng nanakit sayo."

Me -
"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA."
"But if you're thinking that I've been hurt romantically, no, I haven't."

Stephen -
"Oki oki, I thought that you have a boyfriend."

Me -
"Well, what about you?"
"Have you been hurt before?"

Stephen -
"Oo, nasaktan na, ganon kasi kapag nagmamahal eh, nasasaktan."

Me -
"Well, I hope na hindi rin masarap ang ulam ng nanakit sayo."

Then our chats just stopped from there...