euphoria.

001 valerie

italics- rue
valerie jacobs. how many sentences would i have to say in order to just describe her? definitely more than my smoker lungs will allow me. the truth about valerie is that she is constantly hurting, living in a "perfect" life with the "perfect" family. contrary to public belief, cal jacobs (valeries father) and nate jacobs (valeries brother) were two abusive pieces of shit who didn't even realize what they do until it's already done. valerie was always on the receiving end of both of their rage, her body was often littered with bruises and maybe no one cared enough to see past her beauty to see her bruises or maybe she just hid them too well.

most of the abuse from nate came from maddy and valerie knew this, but that didn't ruin their friendship. valerie knew she needed a way to cope early in seventh grade, yeah. she's been abused since she was old enough to walk. in seventh grade she came over looking the worst i've ever seen, i couldn't see any bruises but i knew they were there. we had a sleepover and when i woke up most of my dads pills were gone, i didn't mind because i didn't even know what she was going through and i could already feel it was something huge and unbearable.

in ninth grade valerie met a guy named derek and they started dating. derek was the type of guy you definitely would NOT want to bring to your parents and that's what attracted her to him. it started off cute and simple but he soon started beating her, he was in the eleventh grade and was much stronger than her. they dated for a few months until she found out he took a video of her giving him head and sent it around school which of course made her an easy target for guys judging by her skills shown in the video. everyone thought she was a slut because of the video but the truth was she was a virgin. the only people who knew that were cassie, maddy, bb, kat, lexi and i.

me and valerie would occasionally do drugs together. by occasionally i mean every night. she had multiple dealers all who were dying to get in her pants so she got most of her stuff for free. i had a friend who was my dealer and that's what screwed me over because you can never mix friends with business. valerie had a few nicknames her friends or family would call her, like val or rie but the guys call her worse. the newest nickname a guy gave her in the hallway, when a video of this girl giving "the best head" was released, is the one every guy just decided was the best "ash kaash."

"hey rue?!" i asked her as i drove next to her walking on the sidewalk. "heyyyyy val! what're you up to?" she asked me, i could tell she was high. "rue i thought you went to rehab." "i did." is all i got in return as she got in my car.

my thoughts were quickly interrupted by rue stating "to the convenience store!" i've never been to the convenience store rue is always mentioning but i knew there had to be something good about it for rue to constantly talk about it and the owner who was also her only dealer named fezco, cool name but it makes me picture a scary muscular dude with a bunch of scars and a thick accent.

rue got out of the car and i quickly checked in the mirror if my bruises were visible. none of them were but my right eye looked a little puffy under my makeup. i grabbed my small backpack and ran inside because it was a hot day and i NEEDED shade or i would rip off my shorts that were way too short and my crop top that was way too short and tight. i guess in hindsight i could just take off my unzipped jacket but my wrists and arms were absolutely covered in bruises.

i looked around the store and saw a guy i knew from school in the back aisles and no one else in sight. "rue?" i called out and flinched when one of the fridge doors flew open to reveal rue running out with a guy and a kid with face tattoos close behind. "see! she'll spot me. val i need like $120 please and thanks." rue ran up to me as quick as the door opened but i was still too stuck in my own thoughts as i stared at the hot guy who stood leaning against the fridges. "YOOOOOO ash kaash is here?!" is what brought my attention back to reality and to the guy who i recognized from school.

"ash kaash?" the hot guy asked him in a monotone voice that made it sound almost like a statement. "yeahhhhhh dude you've never seen the video? you're missing outt man i still jack to that shit." the guy said before quickly turning to me after putting a huge selection of alcohol on the counter. "yo remember you can always hit me up on snap or something baby, my bed is always open for you. you coming to mckay's party tonight?"

the fact this boy would even think of saying stuff like that to a woman in public made my mind blurry but the mention of a patty quickly cleared my brain "um yeah why?" is all i could get out as i watched him pay the hot guy for all the alcohol "just wondering if i should buy a little something." he muttered before leaving. weird.

"yo that boys weird as fuck. i'm fez." the thought that the hot guy was talking to me made me want to throw off all my clothes right then and there but i stayed calm and just said "hey, i'm valerie." "yo rue what you even tryna buy from ashtray that costs that much in the first place bruh." great as soon as i get his attention it's gone again.

"nothing just like two pills of molly, one for me one for val, a dab pen and like two OCs why?" is what rue responded to who i now know as fez. "cause, i'm worried about you man ever since that overdose i've been re thinking selling to friends." i'm not gonna lie i zoned out a lot of that conversation until rue was dragging me to the back to see ashtray.

"hey 'val' you know i'm older than i look." "ash shut the fuck up and take her order" rue knew anytime someone i didn't suspect was going to flirt with me, actually flirted i'd panick and just not know what to say so she quickly shut the 12 year old down for me. "shit what you need i got anything and everything, except fentanyl we don't sell that no more." "umm just like whatever $100 can get me of coke from here." i said as i shoved $220 in his direction. "damn i didn't know you had a coke whore as a friend rue!" "ash shut the fuck up." rue gave me one of those 'sorry he's fucking stupid' looks not that the words of a 12 year old could ever effect me.

"here. and rue don't let me catch you stealing some of her coke or i will make fez cut all ties with you." "okay okay jeez we're leaving now bye lunchtray!" rue yelled as she pulled me through the store and out the doors. fez was sitting on a plastic lawn chair smoking a joint and my brain begged me to go and ask him for a hit but i reminded myself i literally had two small bags of coke in my bag. rue was mentioning some thing to him about how she loves god or something but my brain was flooded with worry as i saw my brother nate's truck speed in front of us.

"fez! still got that keg?" he yelled as he jumped out of his truck with obviously mckay close behind. the three of them got a huge keg and slammed it into the back of his truck making me flinch violently, luckily no one saw. "rie what're you doing here? and rue i thought you were dead." is all my brother said before painfully grabbing my wrists and shoving me into the back of the truck. aaron was definitely my favourite brother.

aaron and val had a special relationship, they were both the fuck ups of the family that the family would take upon themselves to "fix" or in better words hide. aaron loved her way more than nate could ever claim he did and val knew this because he never put his hands on her like the other men in her family did. excluding the third brother who no one other than the family knew what happened to, and it stayed that way.

nate showed val her dads porno collection which took a toll on both of their childhoods, they absolutely hated their parents. something they shared in common. aaron was the first to know about the tapes but he never brought it up to them in hopes they could keep their innocence. he never found out they knew.

nate grew to hate aaron, he grew to hate everything his parents hated so he hated val but claimed he would take bullets for her because of his love for her, the truth was he did love her just not enough to betray his parents. when he first saw his dad on top of her beating val with a belt after a work deal didn't go through he wanted to attack him but knew he couldn't. his dad made him join in and that was the start of him taking his anger out on val. aaron was the one who helped her with her injuries which of course made his family hate him more.

the truth was, the moment fez saw valerie get thrown into nates truck like that brought him into absolute rage especially after seeing the puffiness of her right eye but he couldn't do anything, he didn't even know her.