euphoria.

003 piggy farm

i woke up to a bunch of texts from some randos from school but i shook it off as i went to go shower. what i saw in the mirror disgusted me. marks from nate clouded my vision but what was even worse, were the marks from phoenix that sent shivers down my spine. i got in the shower and completely broke down.

what val didn't know was that the texts were all people asking if it was true she slept with phoenix. phoenix told anyone and everyone he could that 'ash kaash' begged him to fuck her and so on. him bragging about how good she was only put more of a target on her and he knew that.

by the time i was done in the shower i finally grabbed my phone, ignoring all the texts and texted cassie.

Me
hey i forgot something in your trunk i'll get it in about 30 mins don't check what it is it's a surprise•

Cassie
•okay <3

cassie had already found what was hidden in the trunk but she knew that if val wanted to talk about it she would, and if you pushed her she would push you away and go on a spree of bad decisions. so cassie decided the best thing to do was to wait and see what valerie's plans were.

i dressed up in black ripped jeans, sneakers, a small white cropped cami, and a jacket. i did my makeup making sure to cover all my marks and finally ran out the door before anyone could ask me anything, it was sunday so i doubt anyone would need me but better safe than sorry.

i drove to cassies house as fast as i could and took everything out as fast as i could. i hid it in my trunk before knocking on the front door. "oh my god! my favourite child, get in here it's too hot out especially dressed like that whatre you thinking. the girls are upstairs." i'm not one to judge but it was 11am and i could smell the wine radiating off of suze but suze is like my mom, and my mom is like my evil stepmom and i think suze knows that too.

"thanks suze i like your shirt." i tried to walk passed her to go upstairs but she quickly pulled me into a hug. "i love you. and that's mom to you, get up there!" she slapped my ass to push me in the direction which made me laugh and almost trip up the stairs.

when i got upstairs rue was there talking to lexi about 'eyeliner' she lost but i knew she needed pee. "gross rue." i said as i piled everyone into a group hug. cassie hugged me really tight but i just shrugged it off as mckay being a dick again.

"can i come over later for dinner or something because i gotta go do something today?" i asked everyone even though i knew rue was probably grounded. "yeah for sure." cassie and lexi said in sync. "bye bitches love youuuuuu!" i ran downstairs saying a quick "BYE MOM!" and left.

i got in my car and blasted birds don't sing by tv girl as i drove to the police station with the best mood i could have in the moment because i knew phoenix would get what he deserved. i came to a stop sign and was stuck in the song yelling the chorus when i looked over to my side and realized where i was.

i was at the stop sign by the convenience store and saw fez sitting on his chair laughing at me with a blunt in his hand. "fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck." i muttered as i decided to turn into the parking lot. with the song still humming in the background.

i got out and walked up to him "you laughing at something fez?" "yeah, ma i'm laughing at you." "ha.ha." i replied as i grabbed his blunt and took a few hits. "yo wait you forgot something at the party can you guess what it is?" fez asked as i handed him his blunt. "umm the nudes from your mom?" i replied, my brain not thinking of the fact i've never heard about his parents. as i was panicking and over thinking my brain reminded me to chill and i realized fezco was laughing at my poor excuse of a joke.

"nah i'll just lock it in your trunk till you remember it as a lesson since you also left the key for your trunk." he laughed out "NO." i couldn't stop but panic. "i mean i just, it would be helpful to have it now haha, is this a new strain of weed?" i asked trying to play it off. "damn ma, you kill someone or something you know i can help yo-" "NO. no. i didn't kill anyone." i said a bit too quickly.

we were both subliminally walking to my trunk before i realized it we were already there and he was laughing as he was opening it. i saw his reaction change as soon as he opened it and messed around with the sheets to see what was hidden in it. when he pulled his hands back after realizing what it was i instantly shut the trunk and ran into my car. i sped off as quick as i could without looking back despite him calling my name.

i got to the police station and ran in as fast as i could. when they took me in to interview i was so hopeful as i told the officer what happened. "mhm. are you sure this happened because you seem to be under the influence ma'am." "no sir, i have the sheets and the condom just let me go grab them." "mhm. you should've brought them to the investigation interview, we can't just pause this. these are serious allegations and frankly i think you're making it up." my heart dropped. "why would i bring bloody sheets into a police office without everyone knowing the context of it, and why would i make this up i-" "you know ma'am you're being disrespectful, i don't believe you, this is obviously a plea for attention. you got your attention. have a nice day." and with that, he left the room.

rie was always someone who asked for help in a strange way when she knew her next choice was going to be a bad one. i'm not saying how she should treat her trauma but she did not react good to this. i don't know if it was the fact she was high or the fact she needed an outlet, or just someone to care but some of you might be mad at how she reacts and you can't blame her, we all have ways to cope.

for instance when she turned 18 there was a week where she worked at a strip club. as a way to get over the fact her dad would abuse sex workers, she became one. and before she did, she showed maddy the tapes in a strange way of asking for help, maddy didn't get the memo and so there val was, in a pair of tall ass heels, a fancy panty set and a shit ton of body glitter.

the only reason she stopped was because she worried if she were to get a boyfriend how they would react to the fact she was showing herself to men left and right. she did everything for the male gaze wether that was over sexualizing herself or hiding herself, she didn't care. she craved attention wether it was good or bad, she couldn't tell the difference.

i grabbed my phone and checked snap maps for the location of a guy i knew would only hurt me again. i drove there in a matter of seconds based on the fact he lived near the police station, how ironic. i stepped out of the car with tears streaming down my face and knocked on the cold door continuously until he answered.

"valerie, what the fu-" "do you wanna date?"

now in reality, val was going there to beat the shit out of him but maybe it was the fact he called her by her real name or maybe it was the fact she needed just someone, anyone, there for her that she would force herself into a relationship like that, even if it was her rapist.