my badboy next door

28 || I Love You

a/n: all I have to say is tears....TEARS

1 month.

One month of going through another heartbreak.

One month of stressing about everything and how I'm possibly going to take care of this kid. I couldn't. I made the appointment. To get the abortion and I couldn't. It felt so wrong. And when I said goodbye it's like I wouldn't see him again.

But I did see him. I saw him putting stuff in his car. He kept his curtains closed. Maybe sleeping with another girl in the bed. My mom getting more exclusive with a guy whose kind to her but horrible to students.

Knowing I will never take him back. Knowing it's wrong to look through all our memories the day his flight takes off.

Today.

If he doesn't magically text me saying it'll work out I'll be done.

Utterly done. His mom tried talking to me. And I'm guessing he told them. She was shocked that he's still leaving. But I don't care. If he wants to leave he can. He's done it before. But I'm the one who runs from problems ? I have overcome everything. And the least he could have done was tell me that he wasn't ready. I get it was out of frustration and it was wrong of me. But everyone was right. He would go to university and find a girl his age and I'd be here heartbroken.

But I'm mostly hurt for the kid. I already know the feeling having a father not around not that much. But I can't imagine having to tell her or him that yeah...'your dad didn't want you'. Which I would never say. But someway it would always come out.

So I didn't care. I drove to the doctors for the stupid ultrasound that I'll be doing by myself for the rest of the time. I don't want anyone knowing. Now at least. Five more months. And this struggle will go away. They all say it'll hit different when you hold them. So I'm waiting for that feeling. Because right now I only feel guilt and hurt.

Elijah Pov

I stare at my phone. Ten hours and I'll be in a foreign country. Everything will be new and no more hassle. I expected her to slap me again. But we haven't spoke since then. My mom said she got an abortion. It was selfish. Of me. But she frustrated me on my graduation. And it was wrong.

But I didn't know how to react. I didn't expect it. I didn't see it coming. It was like a big slap on my face. And I slapped it right back onto hers to deal with. I was going to need her. I wanted to spend my life with her. But maybe things happened for a reason.

I love her. With everything. But I've come to realize she's always been hurt because of me.
So maybe she'll find someone better. But this time I'm turning my back and running from my problems. I have so much I want to do. And if she wants to take care of a kid then that's fine. But I told her what I want. And I don't know what she was going to expect.

It's so wrong but it's the truth. And she lied. For over a month. About so much. To my face. And that pissed me off too. The plane lifts off and I just close the window knowing it makes me feel sick. I've always hated planes. No matter how many times I've been on one. Dozens. I hate heights. Something seems to always go wrong with flights.

I scroll through our pictures.

I hesitate pressing the delete button. Start over.

I press the button. Watching every single memory of us disappear. I have so much to do. And it's horrible to say. But we both want different things. Different lifestyles. And I'm going to have to realize my mom was right.

Love isn't going to always be the answer. But I've been making it the answer since last June.

Mary Pov