The Sunshine Of My Life ✓

Chapter-45|•|

Chapter dedication to RosalinaDas Happy to have a supporter like you. 

Am I gonna lose her?

Author's POV

Abhi froze hearing her words. It's like someone who poured cold water on his face.

'You lost another person in your life, Abhi. You are trash. Nobody wants you. Right from birth, everyone used you and you were an unwanted child. You are everyone's 'want' but not 'need'. You are born to work as a slave. You have no one on this earth. Am all alone again. Alone again. Alone again. In between millions of people, am all alone again' His heart and brain screamed crying. He pulled back and leaned back closing his eyes.

"Mani" whispered Sitaara cupping his cheeks.

"Why?" He whispered.

"I can't say! Am sorry!" She whispered. He hummed. She placed her cheek on his chest crying.

'I don't know if I love you, Mani!
Even if I love you it will be cheating on my Raj, on my 15 years love.
If I love you then all my 15 years of love will become false.
I never wanted this, Mani. That's why I avoided marriage.
Am sorry!
I want you, I don't want to die, I want to live with you, share my life with you, make the father of our babies but if I do that, it's cheating on my Raj.
Even if I love you and start my life with you, I will be in love with my Raj. That will be cheating on you both.
I can't hurt you both.
I don't want to be termed as 'she fell out of love.
I don't want to be termed as 'she fell in love but out of marriage life'.
Viraj was always my beautiful past and now you are gonna be my beautiful past too.'
Her heart and mind screamed.

They both sat like that numb of emotions for 10 minutes, 20 minutes, 30 minutes, 1 hour, 2 hours.

None of them made a move nor spoke a word. Their hearts were racing which can be heard. It was very disturbing yet their embrace was soothing. He was caressing her hair while she hugged him placing her ear exactly at his heart.

"Do I have a chance?" He whispered as his voice is turning painful with each second that's passed. She remained silent and stood up from his lap.

"You didn't have lunch. Let me serve you" she mumbled. He stood up and cupped her cheek.

"Tell me, sweetheart, please, do I have a chance?" he asked as a tear rolled down her cheek.

"I don't know" she mumbled crying and hugged him sobbing loudly

"I don't know, Mani. I don't know" she screamed crying. He too cried along with her.

'I love my Viraj!
Am only Viraj's Sitaara, Raj's Taara, Caveman's Pumpkin.
I can't cheat on him.
My Raj will be hurt!
My Raj loves me, he doesn't expect me to leave him.
He is my life, and without him I am empty!

It's better to let Mani go instead of betraying him.
I can't betray him saying I love him like I loved Viraj.

But...but... It's so heartbreaking to let Mani go. I feel the same pain I felt when Viraj left me, left this world.'
She thought.

Knock

Knock

They both pulled back and wiped their faces. Sitaara sat on the couch while Abhi moved to the ceiling-to-floor glass window and he said '' come in".

Naman entered inside with a happy smile.

"Anna, I came to talk about-"

"Get done with it. Am approving it, Naman. Let's arrange a meeting and our CFO will look into the budget things. Make sure there won't be any mistakes done in this project. Assign it to the best team but give a chance to youngsters and it should be under your supervision" said Abhi coldly but his voice was hoarse which didn't go unnoticed by Naman. He looked at Sitaara who bent her head but he didn't miss seeing her red face, red and bulged eyes.