Traveller POV
Wow what a nice day ill go for a walk and see my BESTIE venti ehe the bard.
*goes to venti house* *aka windrise statue thats where he lives*
"OMG VENTI WTF WHY ARE U WITH SHLONGLI I THOUGHT WE WERE LOVERS!!" I say
Venti appears from behind the .+*pillar*+.
"oh no! its traveller! zhongli we have bean caught!"
Shlong-man appears from behind the pillar BUTT-ASS NEKED!
''Osmanthus wine tastes the same as I remember, but where are those who share the memories?" Zhongli says
Venti bitch slaps traveller and they die
(F in chat)
No ones POV o-o
Venti turns to ZHongli
"I LOVE U DADDY RAIL ME""
Ningguang falls through the roof and Lisa electrocutes the door and STRUTS in
Lisa pushes Ning up against the wall and licks her nostril
""Are you going to be LIsa's little helper Ningguang?"Lisa asks the sexy lady
""NO"! YELLS NING 'I HATE U, U DUMB BOOBIE BITVH''
They hear a MOAN from behind them and turn to see VENTI (of all people) railing the BEJEZUZ out of ZHONGLI (wwho wouldve thought)
"what the freak homie"says Ning
""yeah lets get outta here!"says LISA
Exit, Lisa and Ningguang
Camera pans to Zhongli and Venti furiously pissing on eachother's gnosis (iykyk)
MOAN
MOAN
MONA?
mona walks through the celing hole (haha hole) and drop kicks venti's hat off to reveal...
VENTI IS BALDING?!?!?!
Zhongli sees venti's HIDEOUS bald spot and immediately pulls his BIG FAT ThroBBING COCKADOODLE DOO out of VENTI!!
""ewwww starbucks cup size, i didnt know u were balding.. thats so un swag of u...."" says Zhongli
Zhongli gets up and sticks his toe up ventis nose and wiggles it around a bit before pulling out and walking towards mona
'"Hey mona bestie bae beauty, lets go for a coffee!"' says Zhongli
"But Shlong, we're both broke how do we afford coffee?"" asks mona
"who said anything about buying coffee?"" says Shlong as he pulls a long warm red thermos filled with the yummiest coffee in the world out of his.. bum hole ;)
""OMGGGGGG"says mona "ZHongli's ASS COFFEE is my FAVVVV!!"
She deepthroats the entire thermos and swallows it whole
She immediatly dies
RIP Mona, we will remember your big booty bitvh ass
ANyways,
Zhongli looks at mona's dead body on the floor and steps over it to get to venti who is still clutching his nose from the pain of zhoing's big fat TOE being up it
"Hey venti babez,"says slhong ""look, im really sorry about sticking my toe up your nose. I did it because i DONT love you anymore and I want a divorce""
""no id rather die than get a divorce ily babes"says venti
"stfu u whore"says Zhongli as he chokes venti to death with his long as fuck dick
"" i love having your shlong wrapped around my throat geo daDdy---" venti says as he takes his final breath
"zhongli u killed a man today"says zhongli to himself
Tortilinia walks through the door (theres not really a door anymore theyre just standing on a pile of rubble)
"hey sugar baby"says tortise to shlong
ZHONGLI NUTS ON THE SPOT AT CHILDE'S GORGEOUS MANLY GINGER VOICE
"Hey childe, i have a question."says zhongli ""are ur PUEBES ginger too?""
CHilde says ""ig ull just have to take a look for your self""
Zhongli opens childe's pants by sending a meteroite down to open his zipper
Obviously childe dies from the impact of the large rock crushing his poor little mortal body
Zhongli fortnite dances around the dead bodies of his friends and ex-lovers
'"ösmanthus wine tastes GREAT"" says shlong
-CUT TO LISA AND NINGGUANG FUCKING IN THE JADE CHAMBER-
""Whos lisa's little helper? Say youre my little helper you dirty little-
The end :)
YOU ARE READING
Zhongli x VENTI THE BARD
FanfictionSEX BETWEEN GOD I wrote this with my friends ITS A JOKE LMAO
