i lied besties im not doing lisa x ning

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by PHAAAAAAAAAATBOOTY

by PHAAAAAAAAAATBOOTY

ningguang x beidou bc anything else is blatant homophobia

Ningguang POV

i sit on my big golden chair in my big (newly rebuilt) golden jade chamber and wait for my super fucking hot lesbian girlfriend to get back from giving the traveler a taxi ride to inazuma.
i hear the large GOLD doors to my big gold office open and my secretary rushes in informing me that Captain Beidou has arrived back in liyue harbor and is on her way to see me.
I take a deep breath in to contain my excitement. although i'm known for my calm demeanor, i really can't wait to see my super fucking hot lesbian girlfriend.

" i guess i should get ready, perhaps we could go on a date together when she arrives?" i mumble to myself. i exit my office through the big golden doors and head towards my room. once inside, i put on my new dress and fix up my hair and makeup. i decide to head back to my office and finish up some paperwork before Beidou arrives.

Beidou POV

as soon as i get to the jade chamber i'm going to fuck my mega sexy mommy (in an alpha way) milky big titty lesbian lover and i cannot wait.

TIME SKIP TO WHEN BEIDOU GETS BACK

(still Beidou POV)

i bust my phat ass through Ning's big golden jade chamber (NEW) and there she is spinning on the stripper pole we had installed in the middle of the kitchen. (good purchase).

"hey mommy im home" says beidou

"hi bagel my love, welcome back" says ning. "how was your trip hun?"

"good mommy"

"you know bagel, i got a call from ganyu about your ship. apparently you parked your boat illegally. you know you cant just dock your massive boat at a national landmark. thats like totally illegal queen!" ningguang lectures as she spins upside down on the stripper pole.

"GRRRRRRRRRRRRR. DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. IM YOUR ALPHA SO YOU DO WHAT I SAY SLUT."

"Bagel bagel, my love, dont talk to mommy that way, i know youre my alpha bei bei. dont doubt that for a second." ning says as she spins around the pole with her legs around her head and her arms around her elbows.

beidou nods at ningguangs words and lowers her head in embarrassment.

"youre right im sorry ningguang i never shouldve yelled at you that was bad. im such a bad girl. but you know you should really stop calling me bagel bc it makes me mega horny for you queen." screams beidou at the top of her lungs.

"make me." says ning while spinning around the pole with her legs divorced more than your parents.

beidou sashays over to ninguang on the kitchen pole and rubbed her thigh for three minutes.

"did you come? yet." asked beidou as she adjusted her backwards cap.

"girl what-" said ning as she started spinning at 20mp/h around the pole. "how are you so bad at fingerfucking my badussy whore"

ninguang steadily began picking up speed on the pole until she reached 80mp/h and stuck her high heel out and decapitated beidou's head.

"goddamn" said ning

The End.

A/N: dear all my devoted subjects, why are you reading this are you okay?