...We used to be perfect...
But then one day she was gone. Just like that. No trace. No goodbye. Just gone.
How.....why.....w-we used to....w-we used to be so.......
Since that day I haven't been the same. Everyday since then I wondered if it was my...
"We used to be perfect together." I whispered to myself.
Late night conversations. Early morning love making.
Her smile.
Her lips.
Those hips. Mhhh. I bit my bottom lip just picturing her in my head. Just thinking of her usually brightens my day.
She's. Absolutely. Perfect.
"...We used to be perfect..."
But then one day she was gone. Just like that. No trace. No goodbye. Just gone.
"How.....why.....w-we used to....w-we used to be so......."
Since that day I haven't been the same. Everyday since then I wondered if it was my fault.
I don't know how I got myself into this. Never have I ever been this hung up on a female, but I guess she was the one that changed that. Changed me.
I looked up at my reflection. My eyes were drooped and red, as if I'd been crying for days, which I was. But that isn't the only explanation for the redness, if you catch me drift. My usual light brown color had faded into a deep black.
My cheeks were a darker shade of red on both sides. One side showed an imprint of what must have been my cell phone. I must've not noticed what I lay my head on.
Lately I haven't been able to feel, literally. My heart's much too shattered to even care anyways. Listen to me... I sound like a punk.
My hair was a curly mess. One side was flat, while the other side seemed lifeless. I get like this sometimes, having to go days without sleep, just thinking of the beautiful soul that used to be mine.
I've been in this bathroom for almost 3 days, laying on the cold tile floor. I decided to at least get something to snack on, although I didn't really have an appetite I had this beaming head ache from the combination of hunger and pain.
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I walked down stairs to the kitchen. The sunlight from the front widow caused me to squint, and use my hand as a shield.
The house looked exactly how I left it 3 days ago, which I wasn't used to. I was used to seeing her jacket on my sofa whenever she got back, her endless bag of makeup in my bathroom, and in our room the sweet smell of her warm vanilla perfume, that eventually lingered everywhere else in the house.
When I got to the kitchen I opened the refrigerator. There was nothing that looked good. She was usually the one to buy groceries and knew all my favorite foods. I can't function without her.
It was about 8:15 a.m I debated for the next 5 minutes whether I should eat or not. I finally decided I'd go get some breakfast from McDonalds since it was down the street. I mopped backed up stairs to take a quick shower which eventually turned into an hour or so. I ran some nearly scorching water, grabbed a towel, and got in. The hot water gave me a wave of energy when it stung my skin.
"Baby I'll be right back stay here and don't answer the door for anyone okay!" I was searching through my closet grabbing my black windbreaker and some blacked out Nike's and making my way downstairs.
"Baby I don't wanna stay here what if they come for me to get back at you" she said following behind me as closely as she could.
"Their not that stupid to even think about comin' back and I'm not gonna let that happen baby." I turned to her cupping her face in my hands kissing her lips. She grabbed onto my wrist not wanting to let go.
"I gotta go now baby, when I leave make sure all the lights are off, the doors are locked, and keep your phone by your side at all times iight?
She shook her head yes. "Yeah, alright". As I turned around to leave, she grabbed my wrist. "Be careful baby....I love you Jayceon". I looked into her now crying eyes "I love you too baby"...
I couldn't help but to break down crying banging my fist against the shower wall and grabbing a fist full of my now soaked hair. How could I have let this happen. It's my fault, it's my fault...it's all my fault.
After 10 minutes I pulled myself together and continued showering. I shampooed my hair and could feel the curls coming back to life. I rinsed it out, then used my Old- Spice body wash for the rest of my body. After about 20 more minutes I got out and dried off.
I went to my closet and picked out some red and black joggers, my red and black Air Jordan X GS', with a black tupac sweatshirt.
I looked in the mirror on my wall. Seeing myself back in my original state gave me a small spark of happiness, but it soon drifted away as my mind slowly faded back to thoughts of her. I sighed.
I went back to the bathroom to brushed my teeth, grabbed my keys and left out. Walking to my car, I felt my heart drop looking out across the street. "I'm sorry baby girl..." I mumbled.
