Chapter 31 : Dedication

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My emotions were still running high as I changed my outfit, all of my limbs and muscles shaking as I placed the hood over my head. The image of Cindy's last expression to me was sewn into the back of my eyelids, and no amount of tears could wash it out. On the most selfish part of the war waging in my mind, was guilt and the fear that she might eventually tell them the truth about me having access to her tablet. Then there was the grief, it did feel as though I had lost my own mother. One of the few people within the castle that truly respected me and understood me. Is this what I was willing to sacrifice for a revolution? How many of my family members would have to go under for me to complete this? 

"Rayna, are you ready?" Alarik opened my door, I noticed that more tears had spilt down my cheeks and I quickly wiped them away before turning to him with a nod. "We do not have to do this tonight, you know?"

"Are you trying to convince me to not do this?" My ice thin patience was cracking again, the heat of anger and frustration ready to break through.

"No, I am telling you to mourn." Alarik placed his hands in his pockets, my eyes softening as the rage instantly subsided. "I know how much she means to you, and we can still save her if we decide to do this tomorrow night instead. Yet I think you've been through a lot recently, and taking a night off is nothing to be ashamed of." 

"There is nothing to mourn yet since I will get her out, so let's get this done." I grunted, fighting away the swelling in my chest threatening to break through my throat. As I tried to walk past him, his hand gripped my arm and brought me into him. Before there could be any refusal, his arms held me tightly against him. 

"I'm sorry it came to this, it is hard to watch family members be taken away from you." There was a slight amount of tension in his muscles, uncertainty with how to console someone. The attempt itself was enough to make me want to break, to find so much comfort in being fragile that the idea of shattering was not frightening. For a moment, I allowed myself to only focus on him. The scent of burnt cinnamon on his clothes from cologne, how safe I felt for a moment. 

"Thank you Alarik, but if I stay home tonight then I will not be able to sleep anyway. I'd rather get something done now." Finally pulling away, he gave me the look of someone who was concerned for my health. I ignored it. "We have a wall to mount, let us go." 

"I have found a new way, when you made me aware of Angelo's high security I figured it was time for a change in routine." Quirking a brow at him, I began to worry of our new method of escape. "With the maps of the castle grounds, I realized there was a simpler way of traveling."

Alarik had practically memorized the routine of the guards, knowing which halls to cross and how long to hide in the darkness of the corners until it was safe. We made our way to the professional kitchen, where they did not patrol as heavily. Before I could ask what we were doing here, he lead me all the way to the back where there was a door that I had never seen open. The padlock above the handle demanded a code which Alarik provided with no problem, another benefit from swiping Cindy's tablet. 

The door opened to a staircase leading down, odd since we were on the first floor. Taking my hand, he guided me down a hall that was only lit by the lights bleeding through whatever was downstairs. When we made it down, and I realized it was an underground driveway. The pale bricks at our sides along with pale lighting on the ceilings made it feel rather ominous, I stayed close to Alarik's side while walked up an incline. 

"What do we even have this for?" I constantly looked over my shoulder, the anxiety of someone catching us making me skittish. 

"Deliveries, that's why there is an entrance that leads right to the kitchen." Alarik stated and I nodded, checking behind us once more. I noticed cans of gasoline lining the walls, for quick fuels before the trucks departed. "You do not have to be so nervous."

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