Craving His Love

Chapter - 1 (I have a girlfriend)

Rose's P.O.V

Present
"Holy Shmoly! Are those bags under your eyes?" Melissa almost screamed. I looked down slowly and didn't say anything. "Seriously, is Landon keeping you up all night with some sweet loving.. hmmm?" She continued to tease me and tried tickling the side of my stomach as she giggled but I stood there silently looking at the floor. Melissa's smile was now gone when she saw me, "what's wrong, Rose?" She asked worriedly. I didn't know what to say, I didn't know how to share my pain with her, all I could think about was the first time I met Landon Sinn, my husband.

Flashback to 3 years ago
I still remember as if it was yesterday, it was a cold night of January when around 9pm I decided to walk down to the cafe and quickly grab a coffee so I could stay up late and finish my assignment.
There was a coffee shop just next to my house so I didn't really dress up too much and had my hair put up in a messy bun.

"Hi Rose, having a good day?" Maria the waitress at the cafe asked politely.
"Meh, kinda bored but gotta finish my assignment so need to stay up late." I replied with a shrug.
"Alright, Caffe Breve for you then?" She asked grabbing a cup and writing down my order. I was a regular customer here so they knew exactly what I ordered always.
"Yes, thank you." I smiled.
"An Americano please." A deep yet gentle voice said from behind, a voice so soothing to the ear that it made me turn my head to have a look. As soon as I turned around I met with the most beautiful pair of eyes, as if two drops of honey in a cloud of milk, it was almost hypnotic. Never have I ever seen such beautiful eyes.
"Rose...Rose...ROSE!" Maria shakes me by the shoulder. "Oh my God, I'm so sorry." I said in a humiliated voice. "Are you okay?" She asked with a confused look. "Yeah, yeah I'm fine." I chuckled almost embarrassed. "That's Landon Sinn." Maria pointed to the guy sipping on his Americano on the opposite table while reading his phone. I awkwardly touch my hair and say "Landon Sinn? Do you know him?" Maria laughs and continues to say "Well, he comes here every now and then, I saw you noticed him so I just wanted to let you know his name."
I take a sip of my coffee and my eyes start to wander around constantly looking back at his table. I stare in awe as the sleeves around his biceps tighten every time he takes a sip of his coffee, every now and then he smiles at his phone. Even though he looked like a very reserved guy I felt like he was so much more than what he looked like. He was dusky and had dark beautiful hair, chiselled jawline, the perfect trimmed beard, plump lips, his smile was to die for and of course the perfect pair of eyes on this planet.
I realised in minutes he finished his coffee and was set to leave the cafe, I couldn't believe myself, I wanted to talk to him and all I know is his name because I heard it from the waitress here. I knew I was gonna regret if I didn't talk to him so I quickly ran to his table almost tripping.
"H..hi" I stuttered. He looked at me while he put his phone in a bag he had around him. "Uhm.. hi?" He was definitely so confused. "Landon right?" I said with a shaky nervous voice. GOD MY PALMS WERE SWEATY AND I COULDN'T BELIEVE I WAS DOING THIS. Also I knew I looked disgusting. "Yeah.. how do you know my name?" He asked in confusion. "I.. I.. " my eyes went over to the cup he was holding which had his name on it. "I saw it on your cup." I said with a relieving sigh. He looked at the cup and smirked "huh, okay. That's not creepy." I giggled at this and awkwardly said "We don't know each other but I noticed you here for the first time and I was wondering if you're free for coffee this Friday?" At this point I felt like I was about to faint, I was SO nervous. He laughed but in a polite way and said "I have a girlfriend." At this point I just wanted to die, I wanted to disappear in thin air. WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DO? I asked a guy out for the first time in my life and he turned me down by saying I have a girlfriend, oh my God. "But we can definitely get some coffee here on Friday at 4pm, I have a meeting and if you like you can join us." He added. I was kind of relieved that even after I humiliated myself so badly in front of this really hot guy he was still nice enough to invite me to his meeting but I was definitely not gonna come because I was embarrassed out of my mind yet I smiled and said "Sure, I'll try my best." (Not gonna lie, my heart was broken about him having a girlfriend though) "Alright, I'll see you later then." He softly said as he walked out of the door.
I sat on one of the tables and put my head down, there was so much emotions going on inside my head, I had no idea what was happening around me at this point. "Hey." The same husky voice called out towards me but I convinced myself that I was hallucinating. "Hey, I'm sorry I didn't catch your name." Landon Sinn stood right in front of my table as I looked right at him with my eyes wide open. "Uh..uh it's.. uh.." I stuttered. "Are you okay? Do you need water?" He asked worriedly. I looked down and said "Yes, yes I'm fine. No thank you. I'm Rose." He smirked at me "Pretty name. I'll see you later." He added and walked back out.
I was hypnotised. He was sweet, he was gentle, he was so freaking good looking but then I remembered he has a girlfriend, ugh.
I started walking back home and I couldn't stop thinking about him. I felt such a strong connection with this guy that I never ever felt with anyone before. It was as if the energy he had around him, I wanted to live in that energy forever. His smell, his beautiful eyes I wanted to be lost in them forever. I really needed to tell someone about him and so I went home as soon as possible and my mom opened the door for me.
"MOM." I shouted. "Rose, why're you shouting?" She said while she covered her ears with her hands. "Mom, I need to tell you about this guy I just met at the cafe. Oh my God, you won't believe it. He's just perfect. His eyes, his nose, his lips, his hair, MOM, his smell. Everything about him was SO perfect. I can't stop smiling and thinking about him." I went on like a maniac and my mom listened carefully as she realised I was falling for this man that I just met at some cafe for the first time and barely knew him. Then I went quiet for a second and my mom asked, "sounds like you just met the man of your dreams then why do you look so upset?" I looked at the floor as I sat on the sofa and clutched the pillow. "He has a girlfriend, mom."

Present
"Rose?" Melissa shook me. "Yeah..?" My voice was low and trembling. "Tell me what's wrong, is everything okay with you and Landon?" I could tell Melissa was very very worried about us. "You don't glow like you used to, you don't laugh like before, you're tired, you're quiet and upset. What's wrong Rose? Landon has always been your dream. You've been crazy about him all the time. Why are you not happy with him now?" She started bombarding me with questions. "Mel, I'm fine, we're fine, everything's fine. Trust me." I reassured her. "You're not fine and you know it. I need answers Rose or I'm leaving right now." She demanded. "I... I... " I break down into tears and fall on the floor crying. "I can't do this anymore, Mel." I cried out louder.

Flashback to 3 years ago
Mom sat next to me and rubbed my back saying "Forget about him, Rose." I looked at her in confusion. Why was she asking me to forget the guy who I find so perfect? How can she just expect me to forget him? I mean I was already going all crazy for him. I thought my mom would atleast understand this. "He has a girlfriend, he's in love with another woman and that's something that'll haunt you forever even if you end up together in the future." My mom added. "But everyone has a past mom, even if I date someone else right now I'm sure he'll have ex's too." I said. "Sure, but you wouldn't see him being in love with another woman, when you see this man loving another woman right in front of your eyes it will eat you alive." She said and walked into her room. I clutched the pillow harder and shouted at her room "you don't know anything mom, it'll be fine."

Present
That day I wish I listened to my mother. I wish I had forgotten about him that very day and never thought about him again. "Rose, what did Landon do?" Mel asked picking my face up. Tears ran down my cheeks and my nose was red, my heart was hurting, my knees were weak. "I need some space Mel, please leave me alone." I begged in a trembling voice. Mel was shocked at my request but she didn't protest. Melissa Valentina, my cousin, only 15 days older than me. We grew up together and she definitely knew me better than anyone else so she knew that if she gave me space I'd come around and tell her what's wrong later. Mel left the room and I sat on the floor crying for another 10-15 minutes. I looked over to my side and saw a picture frame, it was from almost 23 years ago when I was only 8-9 months old and my mom dressed me up like a bride to take pictures of me. I sighed. I remembered the times I wanted to become a bride so badly when I was a kid...