It was April 11th, 2018:
My room is dark, almost a tint of dark blue because of my curtains when the sun shines on them. The classic iPhone ringtone plays like a fan for white noise. My vision is blurry and it's hard to see my phone. Different colors slowly unblur as I focus more on the screen. I recognize this name. It's you. My chest tightens and I realize you are calling me. I answer.
"Good morning sleeping beauty" your voice emits from my phone and as soon as it does my heart starts going faster. The most I can do in such a state is slightly laugh and mumble morning back.
"It's a great day outside today so you better wake up mister. I am on my way to pick you up." The call ends abruptly. After a moment to process, I jump out of bed. I turn my light on and run around my room in a panic. I need to look decent. I grab jeans and a basic t-shirt to wear, as I go to the bathroom to wash my face I see it. The hoodie you want so badly but don't want to admit it. You dread the classic boyfriend hoodie outfit but you want the moment to be just right. I grab it on the way to the bathroom in hope that maybe today that moment will happen. Not only for you but for me as well. My eyes are red from my lack of sleep. I quickly rinse my face off with a rag and head downstairs to the living room. Not wanting to seem desperate instead of looking out of the window I watch through the peep hole to see when you arrive. I put my sneakers on as I wait patiently. I wonder what you have planned for us this time today. No matter what it is I know we will have fun. You always come up with the best ideas. You're so bright and kind to everyone. How could anyone ever turn you down, I blame the fact you're so intelligent and persuasive. Before I know it your car pulls into the driveway. The light blue car I love seeing so much. Normally I hate fords but for some reason, I don't mind yours. I wait for a moment, I don't want to rush out right away. With another few breathes I open the door and head to you.
I can hear the bass playing from inside your tiny ford. I get in the passenger seat and as I buckle up you turn the music down. "Look at you! Somebody got ready fast" you laugh trying to tease me, I get flustered.
"Just has some clothes laying around I threw on, nothing crazy" I responded as confidently as I could. "What do you have planned for us today?" I asked trying to start small talk and conversation.
"It is a surprise!" you glow with joy. Your short red hair seems like it is glowing from the hot sun. I look forward to your smile every day. I try not to stare too long because I know it would be creepy, but I can't help be in awe of how amazing and perfect you are. Maybe not to others but to me, even your flaws are perfect, just right. I stare instead out of the car window slowly starting to zone out. You turn the music up loud again and sing along to another song from the 80's you like. I never know any of them but it seems like you know every single word to every single one. As if the words were embedded in.
Whenever I think of you, moments like these are my favorite. I could sit in this small car all day and all night just listening to you sing random old songs driving me to where ever you want to go. I wish moments like these lasted forever. If heaven exists this would be it. This would be my eternity of happiness.
You turn your headlights on as you notice it start to rain. What seems to be a sunny day quickly turns into a storm. I hear the tapping of rain gets louder on the windshield. You turn into the closest parking lot and park.
"Damn! I was going to take us to the zoo. I got two free tickets." You sign disappointed, the rain doesn't look like it will stop any soon either. I try to cheer you up.
"Don't worry about it, we can still hang right here. You always have loved a good storm anyways, now we basically have front row seats to it." I joke and it makes you laugh. You love storms, they calmed you and helped clear your mind. God knows you need it. You're always so busy and stressed. I mean, between family and work you barely have enough time for college and friends. Yet you always manage to make time for me. The least I can do is make sure you're happy about it. You deserve so much more than what you have to deal with. You work so hard at everything you do and sometimes you feel like it amounts to nothing. That is why you love validation. It is understandable who doesn't? You start singing to the radio again, not always in tune but it made the song better somehow. I slowly caught on to the chorus and sang with you. I probably sounded awful but as long as you're laughing and happy that is what matters to me.
"I hoped the rain would never stop that day. I wanted to be stranded, almost stuck. It's been about two years since that day my love. I still haven't forgotten it. I hope you're okay it is a bit windy out here. It is no storm but the rain is still a nice touch don't you think?" Rain tap dances on my umbrella, the wind starts to whine and whistle. I take a step back from you and take a few deep refreshing breaths.
"I love you."
I smile and look down at her grave which is surrounded by flowers. I yearn for her smile every day still. I know she is still with me, especially in the car when 80's music starts to play. I can still almost hear her soothing voice. I'll be back next week, bright and early in the morning.
