Making Me Love You (Joe Sugg / ThatcherJoe FF)

II.

Sydney truly is a tourists' town. As I'm staring through the window of our bedroom, I see thousands of people laughing and walking beside the sea. It's a beautiful location for an apartment. If you're enjoying it of course. I feel hint of jealousy towards a group of teenagers that are passing by. They're shoving eachother, laughing and one boy is holding another girl by her waist, yelling something ridicilous that clearly makes her laugh. They must be only few years younger than me, enjoying summer of 2014. Maybe they're around 20? I feel so old. Not because of my age but because of all the things I didn't have. All these kind of stuff that haven't happened to me. And because of all the bad things that managed to replace them.

I let out a sad sigh, mixed with ironical laugh. Look at me. I'm only 22 and I'm already talking like some old granny that has seen so many horrible things. Am I overreacting than? Every part of me would beg to differ. I've never experienced war, that's true. But I've seen other things, no one ever should.

"Evie!"

Rick's deep, impatient voice, makes me look away from happy teenagers. I shouldn't keep him wait. But before I manage to answer, he already yells again.

"Would you get your lazy ass down here?! Our plane is leaving in one hour!"

His calls are not what you would call friendly teasing. He's intentionally being offensive. He would do everything to keep my self-esteem down. And he's honestly doing a pretty good job, making me feel like i'm worth nothing. Nothing at all. I've come to the point where I don't care anymore. I got used to other people and life itself constantly rambling me.

"I'm coming!"

I call back, quickly grabbing my suitcase and bag, running down the stairs. All the hurry just to face grumpy looking Rick.

"Finally."

He rolls his eyes in his cocky way and than leaves the apartment without saying anything else. I only bow my head, following him tightly. It's hot outside and streets are flowing with all kinds of people. If you're a born and bred Aussie, you get used to this. As I did. Rick however moved here from Ireland and his favorite thing to do, next to showing me who's the stronger one in our relationship, is complaining about hot summers, and how we don't even have snow on winter. When he does that, I'd gladly say to him to go back for good. But I think we all know, how would that turn out.

We get our suitcases into the taxi's trunk and than seat next to eachother on the back sit. All the way to the airport, Rick remains quiet and so do I, looking emptily through the window. I should be excited. I always wnated to travel around. But this is not how I imagined it of course. Another expectation that didn't come true.

Sydney Airport is as usually crowded with people. Tourists that come and go mostly. Big and loud families, dressed in tipical tourist clothes, laughing and their eyes sparkling with excitment. Children being here for the first time, looking around to remember everything, they'll tell about to their friends back at home. And me? Who am I going to tell? I can't say I really had friends. I used to, but not anymore. Beside Rick it was only his company of rude and violent so called 'friends' , that I sometimes hung out with, if Rick thought it was appropriate of me to come. Mostly he didn't take me with him of course. They were drinking and searching for girls that were willing to fuck them for 10$, sometimes more sometimes even less. Yeah, I knew about all of that. He told me himself. As I told you, we weren't an usual couple. He just called me his girlfirend, so it seemed normal on the outside. But on the inside I was just a toy, he possesed and played with anytime he wanted to.

As I'm thinking about that, he suddenly hugs me by my waist, smiling around like we truly are a couple. I look at him, confused. He never does that. But I know it's fake. It's all fake. Nothing like love flows through me anytime he touches me.

"Look honey, our vacation is finally starting! Isn't that just great?"

He exclaims in fake enthusiasm but I nod anyway, smiling at him.

"Yeah, I can't wait to meet your friends."

I respond. Everything in our relationship is so fake. Lies, sadness, hurt. That's what this is about. Rick looks at me with a smile that is just as fake as everything else.

"And you better behave, you understand that, right?"

He lowers his look and smile fades. I quickly nod, looking away, as his grip around my waist tightens.

Rick thankfully fell asleep on the plane. It's a long flight almost a whole day. Now I can have some peace and quiet for myself. I am always nervous around him, especially if he's awake. You probably hating me right now. A girl that only feels sorry for herself and does nothing. Why don't I just simply break up with this violent monster? Well I simply can't. I'm with him for almost two years now and it came to the point where he'd probably kill me If I tried to break up. Or found me if I ran away. And I don't wanna know what would happen next. Why don't I just tell anyone? Police, for example? Well It's because I'm scared. I'm a one big wuss. He is already a dick on the outside, but no one really knows what he's capable of. He hit me countless times, one times even so bad I barely made out. Back than a doctor asked me if he's using force on me, but Rick was constantly beside me, so I couldn't say a word. And now I kind of get used to it. I became more careful around him and did anything he wanted me to. I cried because of that many times but somehow I managed it.  I thought about killing myself many times, but I'm just too big of a wuss for that to. So I guess I really am a failure. And a big one.

A/N: Poor Evie, I feel so bad for her:( And what do you guys think of the story? I know it may be a little depressed atm but It will get better and more interesting. But yeah anyway, let me know all of your thoughts down there in the comments and If you're enjoying this story you can vote for it, and most important: read on! Love you!

xx,

Špela