The Royal Command

Ch 8

TW: hinted manipulation and self-esteem

Manipulation is an unhealthy psychological strategy in which the manipulator is pressuring or controlling someone in the pursuit of their benefits that they are not able to achieve directly.

Victims of manipulation tend to experience fear, guilt, and obligation towards something that they don't particularly wish to do but is forced to do. Victims also tend to experience self-esteem and gaslighting in which to identify manipulation that gets people to question themselves, their reality, memory or thoughts.
(Source: time.com)

If you're currently in a similar situation with a close friend/acquaintance/family member, please seek to the nearest help.

Hope everyone is/will be alright :) stay safe xo <3

—
The wind screamed at your face as everyone rode off the countryside while the scorching sun steadily sank to call upon the nighttime, and the gradual, loud gallops of the neighing horses screeched like it was threatening to burst your ears to death.

The peripheral view of the stunning river that you've deemed breathtaking didn't feel the same, nor did the excitement that took over your muscles. It was as though your body has completely given up on you and wishes to have utter lone amid bliss.

It has been a rough day— perhaps, even a rough month, but that was a matter for later discussion. What matters now is that your head felt hazy, your chest felt heavy, and your eyes felt fatigued, like a demotivated soul.

Not only had you lost a precious creature along the way of this brief adventure and caused much trouble for the men around you, but he, the ruthless marquess, dared to threaten and string such words altogether in the front of your innocent eyes? That alone made you feel worthless, like, as he quotes, "another hopeless, spoiled girl."

But it also made you wonder deeply, how would mother and father react if they were to know this, moreover, your brothers? Would they, too, consider you as a worthless thing? As such, you were in constant battle with your mind— at one, you would volley that you wouldn't care and that everything you've done was a human instinct. But at two, you would volley, again, blaming the humiliation at no one but yourself.

The tears threaten to leave your watery eyes as you tighten your hug around Eren, who was maneuvering the horse. It's not like they will come to know the fact anyway, says your logic— well, that's what you hope for, at the least. But even if they were to learn from some sneaky bastard, you wouldn't know how to feel, especially when knowing that they've gone through such strict lengths to build that 'brave' character within you— to create that 'ladylike' behavior— to fabricate someone who isn't you for the good of the duchy and to construct that strong hatred for the neighboring ducal.

Sometimes, it puzzles your brain why they wish to create such a perfect daughter because even if you appear bold and robust or elegant and proper in the view of others, Lord Levi was correct that you were just "another hopeless, spoiled girl." You loathed the fact that he was valid with one.

But still, you weren't the only one dealing with tight schedules of etiquette and academic classes— your brothers, too, received the same treatment, perhaps worst. But how come they're okay, and you, who receives fewer things to do but rather more demands for marriage, be the one to collapse first? Was it because of the load of high, unwanted expectations that you carry on your shoulders as you become the only female within the descendants of the duke and duchess?

It began to be challenging, especially when everyone around you expected highly of your undesirable marriage, motherhood, descendants, reputation, ladylike status, and academic levels— however, what of your feelings?