Swallow

Chapter 5

Patsy felt guilty. She didn't say those harsh things to Mildred in the hallway, but she stood there among all those laughing faces while Mildred ran away in tears. She had looked right at Patsy for a whole second and that memory now left a dull ache inside her chest.

"Patty!"

Patsy startled and focused on Chelle, who'd just called her by the wrong name. The gym bleachers spanned wall to wall behind Chelle, who was standing with her hands on her hips, elbows out, the Roanoke Turkey proudly displayed on her gym top. It was the same head cheerleader stance she used on the field as they performed in front of a crowd, except she wasn't smiling. She was glaring at Patsy with impatience.

"I've been calling you for forever!" Chelle complained—which wasn't true, because they'd only started third-period gym.

Well, if you used the right name . . . Patsy thought.

"What is wrong with you? You've been spacing out all day!" Chelle said.

"Totes spacey," Donna Anderson said as she came up to Chelle's side.

Being one of the shorter girls on the cheer squad, Donna's head came up to Chelle's shoulders. Her extremely long, dark hair was loose, trailing down her back like a grim reaper's robe.

This was Donna's first year on the squad, one of their freshman intakes. She was a horrible cheerleader. Loud but forgetful, she sometimes shouted the wrong words over all the other girls, but she came along with Joan Renfro. Joan stood at Chelle's other shoulder, her long hair as blond as Donna's was black. Patsy thought of them as the yin-yang twins, because they always stuck together, one dark as a raven, the other light as a dove.

As Aaron's younger sister, Joan had been an automatic addition to the squad, but besides that, she was exceptionally good. Good enough to probably earn scholarships—unlike Patsy, who didn't have any scholarship offers and couldn't afford to go to college. That thought plagued her daily. What would she do when the others started talking about college plans? Patsy could never tell the other girls the truth.

"Sorry, I was just . . ." Her mind stumbled around for something vapid to say. "Thinking about what I should wear on my date with Seth tonight."

"Oh! The blue skirt, you know the one, and the white long-sleeved crop top. Definitely not that cheap Burberry knock-off you wore earlier. That thing was so ugh," Chelle said, then she readopted captain cheerleader mode. "Donna, stay up here with me. Patty, you take Donna's place near the back until you decide you're ready to stop spacing out."

The insult followed by the idea of being replaced by Donna jolted Patsy.

"I'm sorry, Chelle, really," she said. "I can focus."

Chelle kept her eyes on Patsy, but held her palm up at Donna, stopping her in her tracks.

"You better, because I can't have this kind of thing happening at the game. You'll make us all look like losers."

"I would never," promised Patsy.

Chelle waved Donna back and they took position once more. This time, Patsy tried hard to focus on the cheer and do all the right moves. High V, daggers, clasp, low V, daggers, clasp, broken T, T, hip swing, head nod, make sure you're smiling as if all of this isn't just a vexatious attempt to try to fit in with people you don't even really like. Patsy went into a left lunge with a left bow and arrow position, but her left foot entangled with Paige Carpenter's. Paige tried to dodge Patsy's fist as it came close to her face in the bow and arrow. Both girls lost their footing and went down.

"Ouch, Patty," Paige said. "What the hell?"

"Sorry, sorry! Are you hurt?" Patsy stood up quickly and tried to help Paige to her feet.