"How you doing, Ethan?" I hear somebody say.
"Umm good. I guess." I've done answered this question for what feels like a million times. I haven't cried yet, haven't punched anything/anyone yet. So I feel like I'm coping well.
"It's not good to push down your feeling. You know if you need anybody I'm here for you, right?" Kaityln's voice was soft and caring. I just nod. She continues
"You know, you could go to her place and get some stuff before her parents do."
"Yeah I know. Bye Kaityln." I nodded her goodbye. As I walk out the school building. We had a assemble for grace today. I had to walk out. I couldn't handle everybody acting like they cared. Even the people who use to bully her were crying! Everybody was staring at me like it was my fault. I already felt like shit, so I didn't need them to help.
As I walked into her apartment it got harder to breath. My felt my eyes start to water and tried to blink them away. It didn't work.
I walked in to her leaving room. I started to Have my favorite memories of Sunday football with her. we was football together and she would ask so many questions. I smiled at the memory.
I walked into her room. Her room had lights around the corners, posters everywhere, and pictures. Here dresser was filled with make up, perfume, and hair ties. God I miss her! Why didn't she just call me and I could have helped her.
"She's gone.." I whisper to myself. It's just hard to believe. She was with me yesterday. She seemed fine
No. I'm not going to start crying. I've been doing good.
"Fuck!" I whisper to myself. There are steady streams of tears rolling down my face.
"God!" I scream at the top of my lungs as I slid down her wall, crouched down hugging my knees .
"WHY?! WHY!? Why her?" My words coming out between sobs. I see a piece of paper in the floor. Everything was blurry, I guess from the tears. I sqwent my eyes trying to see straight again. I scooted over to pick the piece of paper up. It read;
" dear whoever finds me.
My minds a mess./ my hearts even worse./ I envy the moments I see her kissing his neck./ I sometimes can feel his full lips on mine./ I come back to reality that his no longer mine./ he left me here./ all alone I sat./ now my hands on the gun./ because I'm done./ there's nothing more for me here/ so goodbye dear.
Love Aways,
Grace haze grams."
It felt like a knife just stabbed me in my chest. I guess who ever found her didn't see the note. I just miss her.
I see a little red box that she use to keep her old blades. I grabbed her blades and pushed it against my skin. I have to see blood. I want to die. I started slashing at my arms. I didn't care anymore. I felt the blood run down my arm as I became dizzy. I felt myself slip into darkness. Closer and closer till I hear a firmilar voice.
"Don't do it. Pull through It Ethan." A firmailr voice said. I glimpsed around the room with what energy I had left to see nobody was there. It started getting darker and darker by the second.
"Your my angel, Elizabeth." I said as I drifted off to darkness.
***
I woke up to the sound of beeping and the smell of sanitary. I guess i was in the hospital. I seen a firmalir figure turned around looking out the window.
As I tried to move my arm to touch her shoulder, but I hit my arm on the hospital bed.
"Shit." I groan.
"Ethan! Don't you ever scare me like that again! You hear me boy?!" She said.
I couldn't help but to giggle.
"I'm serious." She said trying to pull of a straight face but smiling.
"What happened?" I asked. I thought I died. I mean I wanted to die.
I thought I was gone forever.
"The doctors said its a miracle your still alive. Your cuts was extremely deep." Kaityln said extending the extremely part. She continued "you must have an angel watching over you." I froze at what she said. Remembering what happened before I pasted out. There was silence between.
"I must have." I said smiling at the thought.
****
At first this was going to be a short story, but them I decided to make it a fiction. So if you would like the book is called "darling grace?" Hope you read it and like it. Thanks!
