Janis: That one there, that's Karen Smith. She is one of the dumbest girls you will ever meet. Damien sat next to her in English last year.
Damian: She asked me how to spell orange.
[Cady snickers]
Janis: That little one, that's Gretchen Wieners.
Damian: She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.
Janis: Gretchen Wieners knows everybody's business, she knows everything about everyone.
Damian: That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.
Janis: And evil takes a human form in Regina George. Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that.
Damian: She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.
Regina: Ma'am, do you have this in the next size up?
Saleslady: Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.
Gretchen: I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.
Shane Oman: Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?
Regina: I'm starving.
Shane Oman: Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.
Regina: What?
Shane Oman: They make you gain weight like crazy.
Regina: Motherf -
Karen: Gretchen, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles.
Karen: And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it.
Karen: And I'm sorry for repeating it now.
Mrs. George:Hey, you guys! Happy hour is from four to six!
Cady: Um, is there alcohol in this?
Mrs. George: Oh, God, honey, no! What kind of mother do you think I am? Why, do you want a little bit? Because if you're going to drink I'd rather you do it in the house.
Cady: Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.
Coach Carr: Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die!
Karen: I can't go out.
[faux coughs softly]
Karen: I'm sick.
Regina: Boo, you whore!
Janis: Wow, Damien, you've truly out-gayed yourself.
Damian: My nanna takes her wig off when she is drunk.
Ms. Norbury: Your nanna and I have that in common.
