The WAR In MY Head

1: Amaryllis

THE WAR IN MY HEAD

BY; GREYY

So skinny

I thought as i stared at my reflection the more, my hazel eyes continued to rake over all of my flaws.

Everything about me was flawed and ugly. Salty tears pooled my eyes as I look down at me feet, while they subconsciously carry me out of the bathroom and into my room.

I dressed up in a sweatshirt that had boldly written on it ‘dead’’, a pair or matching black joggers and a duo of white sneakers. I walked over to my dresser, and applied concealer, to make my prominent eye bags less noticeable, a smear of lip gloss and I was done.

My wavy brown sitting messily on my head, in a bun, I left it that way, grabbed my schoolbag and stalked downstairs. 

The house was empty… As always, with my two older siblings in college and my parents working, I mostly, always had the house to myself. The house seemed cold and unwelcoming, drained and sad, just like me.
I grabbed my car key, locked the front door, and then hopped into my sleek Audi Q7. The engine roared to life as I drove away to school. Sweater Weather by The Neighbour started to ply. I sang along and drummed my fingers on the steering, the song lifting my mood a little bit.

A familiar brick building came into view, Something High School, my school.
I got my car, locked it, made my way through the busy halls, and over to my locker. I shoved in my backpack and grabbed my two bottles of medications from it; I swallowed one pill each dryly.

“Boo.” A guy-ish voice boomed from behind me.

“Die.” I huffed at the golden-haired boy smiling widely at me. I flicked his forehead and shut my locker, but not before dropping my pills into it. If Aiden saw them, he didn’t show it.

“Ow.” Aiden muttered as he chuckled. I scoffed and walked away. He caught up to me and rested his arm across my shoulder.

“I missed you.” He cooed as he played with my bun.

“I can’t say the same.” I snorted as I swatted his hand away.

“That hurt.” He whined. “Right here.” He pointed at the right side of his chest.

“Your heart’s on the other side, genius.” I mocked.

“Whatever, you get the point.” He rolled his at eyes at me.

I just shook my head and continued walking until we got to homeroom.

My three other friends were at the back. The class was buzzing with different voices, it was so fucking loud, it hurt my ears a little.

Time to meet the squad, I guess. Standing next to me was Aiden Woods, the sunshine of the group, he’s peppy, cheerful and sweet, but his appearance was rugged. His forever messy blonde hair, dark brown eyes and ear piercing. There's more to him, we all have our own tragedies, and dwelling on them changes nothing. So Aiden didn't dwell on them, at least he acted like he didn't.

Next was Ashley Wayne, the sweet bitch. She had this total bad girl attitude going on. With her endlessly red foxy lips, baby blue eyes, short black hair, and this tattoo on the side of her head, that said ‘pride’. Apparently, her younger brother; Asher committed suicide a few years back, he was outed by their own mother for being gay, yeah it’s really messed up. Asher withdrew himself completely, he wouldn’t come home for days, school was worse. He shut everyone out, until he took his own life. It was a tough time in our lives, t was worse for Ashley.

Enough of the sob story, Juan Cruz Cetto, AKA the conceited S.O.B. Oh my gawwwd, don’t get me started on Juan, he would legit use your eyes as mirrors. With silky brown hair, light brown eyes that could be mistaken as gold orbs, and a Spanish accent. And boy, did girls love that accent.

Then there’s Yazmine Jacobs, an absolute sweetheart, with her dazzlingly smile, her lovely honey like skin, deep coffee eyes and curly brown locks. She is definitely my favourite…shh; don’t tell the others, they might just have my head.
Who am I kidding? They’d feed me to dogs.

Ok, ok, I think that’s all.
Asides we are all popular, our families were also wealthy and respected, but we never let that get into our heads, like that asshat; Lauren Adamson, you’d get to meet her soon enough, cause, the wicked witch never flies far.

“This girl is so mean, she hurts my feelings every chance she gets.” Aiden whined, as he placed his head in Yazmine’s laps.

“And you hurt my brain every time your mouth flies open.” I huffed as I sat next to Ashley, Juan snickered and Ashley cracked a smile. Aiden looked truly offended.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself.” Juan remarked as he chuckled.

Aiden pouted crossly, Yazmine patted his hair and looked up at me, “Apologise Amaryllis”

“Huh… what’s an apologise?” I spoke dumbly, furrowing my eyebrows.

“Dummy.” Yazmine retorted, causing us to laugh.

“Hey.” I called out to Ashley, who was staring out the window, her chin in her hand. She looked over at me and smiled.

“What’s up?” She asked, her red lips stretching into a small smile.

“Same old. Still home alone.” I sighed.

“Bummer.” She said simply, what else could she say. Sorry? She knew better than to apologise. Our lives, were more or less the same, empty and grey, you could say she hated her mother, even though the woman never stayed at home, and Ash losing her only sibling made matters worse.

“On the bright side, we could still have lit parties” Juan boomed.  Fucking cunt.

“Die.” I and Ash said simultaneously. He flipped us off, as we both laughed.