Begin Anew

In the Beginning

I could never leave Forks, even after my change, so I decided not to.  But I wasn’t changed by the Cullen’s…I was changed by my children. 

You see, the night before my disastrous 18th birthday party, Edward had decided to give me a present, something that I’d been silently praying for since the first time we kissed.

We made love.

It was amazing, the most beautiful, exciting and nervous experience of my life, but I loved everything about it.  And I loved him, and that made me love him even more, that he was able to give me what I wanted with no strings attached…no not refusing to turn me or anything like that.

After that, I thought we’d be together forever.  I thought we’d get married after graduation and then he would change me, but not before having a few more human experiences just like that one.

But I was wrong.

Not even a week after Jasper ‘almost’ attacked me, the Cullen’s left without saying goodbye, and the goodbye that Edward gave me only made it all worse.  He said he never loved me, that he regretted what we’d done and regretted Jasper attacking me, and the worse…that I would never see him, again.

With that, he disappeared, taking my heart with him.  I disappeared, as well.  I was a shell, falling to the ground, staying that way until I was found and not coming out of that state for at least a week, until I began to feel sick.

I was still at home while Charlie was at work when I finally looked into the mirror.  My skin was pale with dark circles underneath my eyes, and I swore that my eyes looked black, not brown.  I was losing weight, except for a swollen stomach, and as I put my hand to my stomach, I could swear I felt something move.

And that’s when I knew…I was pregnant, but by a vampire.  This child would not be normal, and by the way I was looking and starting to feel, I knew I wouldn’t be, either.

I began to pack a couple of bags, one with my phone, my laptop and some books and pictures—keepsakes, while the other bag I filled with clothes and some toiletries.  After I grabbed my keys and purse and put my bags in the truck, I took off to the only place where I knew I could hide.

The Cullen’s

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Within only a week of staying there, I already looked five months pregnant.  I felt grateful that they’d left the electricity on, but was curious to know, why.  If I ever met up with them in the future, I’d ask them.

They’d also left all the human food here, as well, but it didn’t take me long to eat that, though once I started getting sick off of it, I began searching the house, smelling something so sweet and appealing that I couldn’t hold back and deny that I needed it.

And I found it in the garage.  A deep freezer full of blood.  I almost turned away, the mere thought of blood disgusting me, but at the same time I felt guilty because I wanted it.