(c) RichardAnderson
10 am Sunday morning, not feeling totally 100% I’m waiting for a Tram daydreaming of last night, the 101 arrives and I board, purchase my ticket and take my usual seat at the rear of this empty tram to ‘people watch’ on my journey into the city. Fumbling my wallet into my jeans pocket I discover a note: You’re so frigging hot let’s do it again – meet you under the bridge on Spencer next week at 8pm – no name just xox. I could feel myself get aroused at the thought of catching up again with the hottest babe I’ve met in a long time. The Tram stopped with a shudder and somebody boarded giving me a curious glance, crossing my legs and folding my arms I stared out the window aware of this someone looking at me as if he could read my mind.
“Don’t I know you bro?” he asked. I turned, looking straight at him and politely replied, “No, I don’t think so.” “No shit” he mumbled, fiddling with the ring in his nose, cleaning his Doc Martins on the legs of his tattered jeans. I turned and renewed my acquaintance with the suburban scenery, “you sure” he snapped loudly, “positive” I replied, wishing someone else was on the tram. “You sure look familiar to me” he continued, shifting his weight and looking as if to come over for a closer look. To my relief the tram stopped and a bedraggled couple with a child struggled aboard.
“G’day Tony” cried the young man looking at me with his ‘ankle biter’ of a child clutched to his chest like some chimpanzee clinging to its mother. “You talking to me” I reacted “I think you must be mistaken my name isn’t Tony” I replied as polite as I could muster. “Sorry mate, but you sure as hell look like a mate of mine” he continued placing the child on a seat saying to his partner “Suze isn’t that Tony or am I still pissed from last night?” “Sure looks like him” she snorted looking directly at me. I shrugged my shoulders when the guy with the nose ring joined in “I know this dude too but his name sure aint Tony” all three of them began chatting to each other like long lost friends. I wished I was closer to my stop – sure, I could get off but trams are few and far between on a Sunday and I wanted to get into the city. Here I am with three complete strangers, their stares and glances becoming uncomfortable and this pugnacious chid gawking at me with her one good eye! My mind drifted to last night...
I’d been invited to this birthday party by a work colleague, not someone I know too well but enough to have a sandwich and a beer with now and then, Steve is his name and being single is his game. Love em and leave em is his motto and to be honest I was a bit reluctant to make the trip to the other side of town but what the hell. I’ve been spending too much time on various chat sites, too much time updating my profile on social media so I thought some real ‘face on face’ would be good. We arrived (after a few warm up drinks in the city) at this place out near Brunswick where the party was in full swing when I clocked her, stunning in her near naked designer attire (don’t ask me what she was wearing I’m hopeless with labels) and flirting with anyone who took notice. Our eyes met, our lips moistened by our tongues as our ‘four second’ stare told us we’re interested in each other, her name I seriously cannot remember, one of those you immediately forget when looking into her deep blue eyes (yes, I’m good with eyes). We chatted, we drank; we kissed and took a taxi back to her place...
The tram braked suddenly and this old man got on – whiter than white, albino I think, giving me such a gaze I thought I was going to wet myself. “Hello Mark, long-time no see” he called as he walked the length of the tram and sat in the seat opposite. “Excuse me” I replied as courteously as I could for this trip was beginning to freak me out, “My name isn’t Mark and I know I don’t know you?” “Sure you do” he replied with the other passengers now turning towards us. “Hey mister, his name is Tony” said the couple in unison with the now sleeping child, the nose ring guy joined in “just remembered your name, Jason isn’t it?” “What the fuck’s going on” I cried out “I don’t know any of you, we’ve never met and my name is Dave” I shouted to no one in particular.
