Your Secret Admirer, Jacob (A Princeton Love Story)

Chapter 17

- January 2, 2012. 

New year, new me... Fuck, no. I walked into school catching a smile from my love. "Hey, Jacob" she waved. "Hey" I smiled back with a slight wave. "Give this to Locker 280" she handed me a pink note. "Sure" I shrugged before sneaking toward my locker. I grabbed my books quickly before going into my homeroom and reading the note. 

I called to say Merry Christmas. 

I texted to wish you Happy New Year...

No reply. 

It's a new year, Secret Admirer

 And I hope you build your courage to just speak once...

Or at least try to communicate once. 

I love you.

Oh and sorry for not rhyming. I'm afraid I'm going to be late for class. :P

- ❤.

I figured... It's been a while since I've actually written back to her. I grabbed the remainder of my things before heading to class. As soon as I stepped through the threshold of the classroom, the bell rang. Instead of doing my work for this class, I began to write to my love. 

Okay... 

Your wish is my command, finally. 

I'll text you or I'll call you. 

Whatever I have more balls to do. 

You've given me ample time to communicate; It's true.

I've just been nervous, but I guess I'll get my guts soon. 

Just don't rush the process, Love. I'll call soon. 

I haven't forgotten. It's hard to. 

It's hard to forget when you're on my mind. If only you knew...

How much I really do care about you. 

... Honestly, I think I love you too. 

-- Your Secret Admirer. 

I stashed the note in my pocket before actually engaging in today's lesson. Once class ended, I approached my love. "Hey, Jacob" she smiled. "Hey, uh... What's his face told me to give this to you" I took the note from my pocked and gave it to her. Her eyes sparkled and her face lit up. She squealed in excitement before opening the note. My heart pounded as I watched her begin to read... out loud. "Your wish is my command, finally. I'll text you or call you. Whatever I have more balls to do" she smiled. She glanced up at me with a grin. "He's shy" she commented before continuing. 

"You've given me ample to communicate; it's true. I've just been nervous, but I guess I'll get my guts soon. Just don't rush the process, Love. I'll call soon." She stopped and looked at me with a dropped jaw. "He called me Love" her cheeks grew red. I smiled slightly, trying my best not to smile hard. I didn't know she got so hype when she read my notes. Just imagine if I do decide to call her.

"I haven't forgotten. It's hard to... It's hard to forget when you're on my mind. If only you knew how much I really do care about you. Honestly, I think I love you too... Your Secret Admirer" she finished reading before leaning against the lockers. She held the note close to her heart and looked over at me. "Isn't he the sweetest?" she asked. "Yeah, he's adorable" I spoke plainly. I sounded a little bit salty. Haha. I didn't really mean to. 

"Someone's jelly" she smirked. "Me? No" I shook my head. "Whatever, Curly fry" she ran her fingers through my afro making me melt on the inside. Fuckk. She smiled before biting her lip at me. "See you around... Jacob" she winked at me before brushing past me. I smirked before running my fingers through my hair.

The next period I had was English, the only class I understood. We didn't really learn anything new. We just reviewed and what not. After that class, it was time for lunch. I would usually go down to a fast food to eat, but something told me not to. I walked into the cafeteria, automatically spotting my love. She smiled and automatically started approaching me. "Hey, Jacob" she greeted. "Hey" I smiled. "Do you want to come with me to get something to eat?" she asked. "Sure" I smiled. 

We went to a McDonald's. We talked for what seemed to be hours. She's so beautiful on the inside. She's... so down to earth and funny. We are so... perfect together. "So, are you and Locker 280 cool?"she asked. "Yeah, we've known each other our whole lives" I smiled. "Well, tell him to call me. Or text me. I don't want to seem too pushy. I just... I just really want to get to know him" she quietly spoke before sipping her drink through her straw. "Well, he really likes you, and he wants to get to know you too. He's just scared" I told her, sounding a little bit too sincere. "Scared of what? I'm not going to hurt him. I promise I won't. I'll do whatever it takes to make him happy" she spoke. "How does he know that? You don't know him like I do. He's been teased his whole life. He just wants to be accepted. He feels like you're the only one who can do that... But, he's still scared" I vented my feelings. 

She stared into my eyes for several moments. "Jacob...", she spoke quietly, "I'm scared too, but do you see the risk I'm taking? But, if he just opens himself up to me then... We can be together, and we can no longer be scared" her eyes sparkled as she spoke. A silence lingered between us. "He just doesn't want to be pressured. He'll come around" I told her. She smiled slightly. "I just... I don't know. I've always been impulsive when it comes to love. I mean, we don't know each other, and we're already saying I love you. He just... makes me feel good. He makes my insides feel fuzzy. He makes my heart flutter. He makes me just... ugh" she smiled to herself. I smiled a bit. 

Damn, I make her feel like that. "He just makes me feel beautiful, Jacob" she smiled, gazing into my eyes. Her eyes sparkled with wonder as she spoke. It made my heart flutter how she looked. "He's got my heart... All I need is his" she added, looking down. "You already have it" I told her. She looked back into my eyes. "What?" she asked. "I can tell by how he contemplates to call you... He picks up the phone and stares at your name in his contact list. When he finally has the guts to dial your number, he starts doubting himself... Then the cycle repeats... He keeps your notes in a neat stack under his pillow, so he can have sweet dreams about you... He spends the whole class period of his classes thinking about you and writing notes for you and about you. You've got his heart... Now, all you need to do is: let love take its course" I told her. 

She stared into my eyes as I avoided eye contact. I picked up our trash and threw it away. "You ready to go?" I asked, holding out my hand. She nodded and smiled a little bit. Her soft hand slipped into mine as I led her out the restaurant. She was silent for the remainder of our time together, but I kind of didn't mind because as long as her hand was in mine, I didn't feel alone. "I'll see you aroun---". "No, wait, Jacob... I... I don't want to leave you just yet" she spoke quietly and gripped my hand a little harder. I looked into her eyes, struggling to gain eye contact. "Well, why not?" I asked. "I don't know. It's just something about you..." she answered still not looking at me. "Well, since you don't want to leave me yet, where do you want to go?" I asked. "Anywhere" she answered. I touched her cheek making her look into my eyes. Her eyes glistened from nearing tears. "Why are you crying?" I asked. "I just.... I don't know. I feel... safe when I'm around you. When you're not around, I feel like I'm alone" she switched her gaze between my left and right eye. "I feel like that too" I spoke after a brief pause. My face inched closer and closer to hers. Our lips were centimeters away, and I could feel the rising tension between us. 

I pulled her close to me by the waist anticipating her lips to mine, but the bell rung. I grabbed her hand and led her out of the school building that was soon to be filled with students transitioning to their next class. I opened the door to my car for her to get in. Once she was comfortable in the passenger seat, I went on my side and started up the car. I took her hand into one of mine and kissed the back of it. "Let's go" I smiled before driving off.