Cancer

"I'm afraid you have cancer Miss Winters," the Doctor informed me and my mother.
My mum reacted first, leaning forward as she started to cry.
Me on the other hand, I froze. I had cancer. I was most likely going to die.
This made my head spin.
When I did eventually pass on, too many people would be sad- maybe. I had to distance myself, make myself unmissable.
I had to be alone. I don't want to make anyone else sad.

This is how I found myself ignoring all my friends messages and such.
I now had various appointments booked, to hopefully heal me from this.
My family had been informed over zoom, a lot of them cried.
I didn't want to expose my friends to that, I didn't want to get pitying looks. I wanted to save as many people as I could from my death (that's if they'd miss me. I might be being a bit narcisstic here).
So I didn't talk to anyone. I didn't even talk the entirety of that weekend, I didn't say anything to anyone. I didn't want to talk to anyone anyway.
My mum had to call my school, so now they knew I had cancer- great. She also told them about my sudden muteness. 
Monday is going to be great.
(I say with sarcasm).

"Florence is here," my English teacher noted me, before going back to calling out names.
I felt Holly and Jen give me looks, but I ignored them. I had to protect them. I had to-
"Flo? What's up?" Jen leaned over Holly.
I ignored her again, looking straight at the board.
"Flo?"
"She's not going to answer," Holly said softly.
"But-,"
"If she wants to talk she will,"
I won't talk.

At break, instead of going to my spot with my friends- ex friends now I guess- I went to the library. I managed to hide in there, but I did see Sam and Lucas come in briefly.
Miss Jachal, the Librarian, didn't bother me- instead gave me some suggestions on what to read.

Over the months, I got weaker and the physio I was going through caused my hair to start falling out.
It first started falling out in the car going to my dad's.
My dad cried.
I shaved my head- well, he shaved my head and gave me a beanie to put on for school the next day. He then emailed the school and messaged my mum.
I think most people had given up on talking to me, which I was thankful of.
The teachers didn't pick on me, but they did give me pitying and sad looks when they thought I wasn't looking.
Then, in the middle of my art lesson I coughed- Lyssa I think almost had a heart attack when she heard the first noise from me in months.
And to my horror, blood had spilled out of my mouth.
"Miss! Flo just- she coughed blood?" Lyssa raised her hand.
I shrunk into my chair as everyone turned to look at me.
I wiped my mouth.
"Florence do you want to step outside?" Mrs Daye asked.
I nodded and scrambled to my feet, grabbing my bag and almost sprinting out of the door.
I didn't go back to school for a week after that.

My idea finally came crashing down in PE- when we were playing dodgeball.
I wasn't participating- instead reading on the sidelines but I got hit in the head with a dodgeball.
"I am so sorry!" Stella apologised.
I looked up, and to my absolute horror, my beanie fell off, revealing my shaven head.
"I- Florence? What?" Stella froze.
I jumped to my feet, grabbed my bag and hat and sprinted out of the gym.
Frick.

Hunter found me two hours later, crouched down in the Library.
"Flo," he greeted.
I didn't answer.
"You don't have to answer. I know you're hurting and trying to stop us from being hurt," He said, sitting down next to me.
I looked up at him.
"You have cancer don't you?" He asked softly.
My bottom lip trembled as I nodded, bursting into tears.
"Hey, hey it's okay. I'm still here," he hugged me, patting my back soothingly.
"You don't have to talk. But I am still annoyed that you thought shutting everyone out was the only option. Just because you distance yourself from us doesn't mean we stop caring about you. Love between family doesn't die. We've all been really worried, especially after Lyssa told us about your art debacle," he continued.
I didn't answer, instead coughed and fluttered my eyes.
"Flo?"
I closed my eyes.

"She just collapsed in my arms. Is she going to be okay?"
I opened my eyes weakly to find my friends and family surrounding me.
Hunter was talking to my dad and a doctor.
"Hey Flo," Summer said with a smile.
"I- I'm sorry," I croaked out, using my voice for the first time in months.
Lots of people burst into tears.
"You have to let me go," I continued.
"Flo don't," My sister said reproachfully.
"You have to. I'm going to die. You have to let me go," I said firmly.
"We just got you back," Heidi said quietly.
"I'll still be here. In spirit," I cracked a smile. "But you have to let me go,"

My final moments were spent well. I had a good life. Now it's over.