The Inn | L.S.

chapter 5

The next morning Harry had dark circles under his eyes. He had been writing a short story until late at night and at some point started crying out of sheer desperation. He wanted to forget his dark moments with Carson. He wanted to erase all the pain. There were still bruises on his hip. Where Carson's hands had left marks.

He wanted to erase the memories, all of them. He even wanted to erase the few good moments he had with Carson.

He put on a pair of beige sweats and a blue Fleetwood Mac tee. His hair was a curly mess. He didn't care.

He had had a nightmare.

In his dream, Carson was shouting at him and cornering him. Harry felt very small at that moment, but not in a good way. Not in the way when you feel protected. He felt helpless and powerless. Carson gestured wildly with his hands and at one point Harry heard a clap and his cheek burned. Blood rushed to his throbbing skin.

As Harry shuffled down the stairs, he had to strain not to burst into tears. He had lost his feelings for Carson a long, long time ago. He lost the feelings the night it happened. That was eight months ago. Since then, he had tried to leave Carson several times, but each time he ended up in bed with bruises and a bloody lip, crying himself to sleep. Those nights, Carson would go to a bar and get drunk before flirting with other men.

Harry always thought he was crazy to think like that, but he wanted nothing more than a new, healthy relationship with a gentle man. Shouldn't he be too traumatised and scared to have a new relationship? Why did others have to go a lifetime without sex or love because of their traumas and Harry even wished for it?

He made his way into the dining room where Louis already sat at the table. He had glasses resting on his nose and his eyebrows were furrowed in deep concentration. He was reading a book.

"Morning", Harry rasped out and cleared his voice right after. Speaking after crying wasn't an easy task.

"Good morning Harry!", Louis beamed, but his smile fell when he saw how miserable Harry looked.

"Did you not sleep well? Was something wrong with the room?" Louis looked genuinely concerned and Harry wanted to burst into tears.

"I'm fine, don't worry", he murmured and faked a tiny smile. He didn't want Louis to worry. 

"Okay, if you need anything just let me know, yeah?"

Harry nodded and sat down. He could only eat one piece of toast and he forced the tea down his throat. Whenever Harry was sad, his stomach would completely shut down.

"I'm gonna go to the shops today, it's a twenty minute drive. Do you need anything? You can always come with me."

Harry actually needed something. He ran out of pills for his headache and he wanted to get some fresh ginger.

"Yeah, would that be okay?"

"Of course! I'll be ready at ten so you have another hour. There's also a small farmer's market so I might get some vegtables for tonight. I'll prepare grilled veg and falafel. That okay?"

Harry nodded and felt his heart swell. Even though it was Louis' job, he felt so grateful for having someone to cook him dinner.

"That sounds really good."

"Oh by the way! You should meet my dog Clifford. He was feeling a bit poorly so I kept him in my room for the last three days except for our walks but he's getting better now. He's such a sweet soul, I think you will like him."

"I love animals, especially dogs. What kind of dog is he?"

"He's a labra doodle. Such a sweetheart", Louis said dreamily and sipped at his mug of tea.

"Right, I need to change the sheets and clean the room of the guests that left last night. Just give me a shout when you need something. And I'll see you at 10 to go to the shops, alright?"

Harry nodded and Louis gave him a reassuring smile. Louis would give a whole lot to make Harry's day better and going to the shops together was a good start.

Harry ate up his toast and finished his mug of tea. The weather was okay, a gentle breeze and lots of sunshine through a few clouds. Harry decided that he would stay more than three weeks, if Louis was okay with that.

Harry needed to heal. He needed time. And he needed a home. Maybe Norway could be his home.