Life can be lonely and I'm stuck up in these thoughts
I'm stuck inside my head, and I don't know what to do
I'm alive but I can't breathe
Every step in a direction, there's a wall I didn't see
And the light just keeps leaving my eyes
And I don't know where it goes
This isn't easy
Keeping busy
It does the job but it doesn't heal
I'll wait for the waves to leave and come
I think I'm breaking
I'm a mess in the making
I'm getting tired
Of the same old feeling in my chest
I'm not suicidal, I don't wanna fucking die
I just wanna be able to close my eyes and feel alright
But every day I feel like dying
I tried to escape but there ain't no way
Try to be strong when I deal with the pain
I'm scared to live, but I'm scared to die
I look in the mirror and I see
Someone that makes me unhappy
I look around and see the beauty
Of the girls I wish I could be
I wish I could love me the way I love others
Could help myself but I don't even bother
I'm drowning but I'm all alone
I seem fine but they'll never know
I'm trying to keep my tears dry
Saying I'm fine but it's a lie
Am I my worst enemy
Maybe my thoughts are killing me
Second guess myself because
I think that I am not enough
I don't feel loved
Feels like they're something wrong with me
It seems real when everybody tends to leave
I'm breaking but they say I'll be okay
The damage I've caused myself is hard to believe
I'm stuck with the thoughts and it makes it hard to breathe
Filling the empty space to run from the pain
It's a quiet battle in my head making me insane
I feel like I'm dying
I'm getting sad too soon
I hope I make it 'cause I'm trying
Empty, and numb
Still can't get past all the sadness, and the crumbs I left
Help me, I'm scared
'Cause the one thing on my mind
Is for me to disappear
I'm always so alone
Even when surrounded
By people that I know
I always stay at home
'Cause I'm not good in public
I sit here on my phone
I'm always disappointed
I watch them live their lives
I wish that I were happy
Who am I supposed to be?
When will I be complete?
When will they be proud of me?
It's getting harder to see
Slit my wrists, bloody fists
Questioning why I exist
Pain persists
Fucking up my life to shit
I'm worthless
I try to stay strong
No matter what I do
I'm always in the wrong
It never gets easier
Grab my hand, I'm drowning
I feel my heart pounding
Why haven't you found me yet?
Traumas, they surround me
Now shes older things are getting colder
life's not what she thought
she wished someone had told her
She told you she was down
you let it slip by
so from then on she kept it on the inside
She told herself she was alright
Look at her dull eyes
Tried to stop herself from crying almost every night
but she knew there was no chance of feeling alright
She knew she was depressed she didn't want to admit it
didn't think she fit in, everyone seemed to miss it
If I'm being honest, I'm not okay
Doubled my dosage, but the pain won't go away
These couple weeks, I haven't felt the same
I don't wanna cry for help
But I'm getting tired pretending so well
I thought I was going steady, but my mind's got the best of me
I don't know why I'm still here, honestly
If you took a peek inside of my brain
You'd find the reasons for all of the blame
Constantly drowning, it won't go away
I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen
All of the times I spent being not me
Trying my best to be okay
Trying my best but every day, it's so hard
Don't know how to escape from this prison
How can I free my mind?
'Cause I can't breathe
How can I live in the moment
When my thoughts never feel like my own and
Don't know how to admit that I'm broken
How can I be alright?
Feel it heavy in my bones now
Prayer in the shape of Prozac
Try to medicate the lows that
I can't carry this anymore
Heavy from the hurt inside my veins
Wonder what it's like to be okay
Help, I have done it again
I have been here many times before
Be my friend, hold me
Wrap me up, enfold me
I am small and needy
Warm me up and breathe me
Ouch I have lost myself again
Lost myself and I am nowhere to be found
Yeah I think that I might break
Lost myself again and I feel unsafe
Crying off my face again
The silent sounds of loneliness
You can feel the dread in my eyes
Cause I'm struggling to survive
I want to see my happy end
Can you save me, from my own dread
Hear the voices, see the demons
Feel the coldness, seeking for treatment
Tonight the monsters in my head
Are screaming so damn loud
being who I really am
Has only left me more alone
And I need you to see it
I have so much to say
And no one to hear it
The reason I keep quiet
With so much at stake
I always feel like a burden, let it silence me
You'll never understand
Why it's so hard to say
I'm not okay
I wish I had a scar
Had a bruise on the surface, any kind of proof
That everything I feel is more than just some sad excuse
The only symptom you can see
Is I don't wanna be alive
I'll never have the words, I can't explain this hell
But what if it kills me
If I keep it to myself?
All day starin' at the ceilin'
feelin' like I'm headed for a breakdown
And I don't know why
But I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell
I don't even know myself at all
I thought I would be happy but now
Every night I try my best to dream tomorrow makes it better
And wake up to the cold reality and not a thing is changed
