ＴＥＭＰＴＡＴＩＯＮ （ｒ．ｂ．）

ᴄʜᴀᴘᴛᴇʀ ꜰᴏᴜʀ

Down the stairs and to the left. It was a total of 13 steps for my legs to reach the room. Another five to get to the edge of the bed where my mother slept. I would usually pace around for ten more minutes trying to talk myself down and walk away. But Mom would reach out her hand from bed and grab a hold of me. As much as I thought I was quiet, she was awake the second I walked into her bedroom. Instead of scolding me and telling me to go back to bed, she would grab my waist and pull me into bed with her. She would squeeze me tight and ask me about my nightmares. I would tell her about the nightmares of the dark and the demons that haunt me. She would kiss my temple and rub my back.

"Bug, nothing can hurt us. I can protect us." she would whisper in my ear.

I believed her. That was my biggest mistake.

I look at the face next to me, not the soft face of my mother, but Sapphire's. Instead of going to my bed, I slip into Sapphire's cot next to mine, slide under the sheets, and lay down on my side to face her. She grumbles to me as she rearranges herself to fit my body. She opens her eyes and wraps an arm around my waist.

"How did tonight go?" she whispers to me.

"I got the letter out."

"That's good." Her eyelids are heavy as she talks to me.

"Do you believe in redemption?" I ask.

"Depends. Why are you asking this?"

"I don't know. Sorry; go to sleep. I'll talk to you in the morning."

Sapphire takes my hand and holds it tight; I rub circles on her knuckles with my thumb until she falls back asleep and I soon fall into a deep sleep along with her.

I dream of long golden hair that used to tickle my cheek and blue butterflies.

~~

I wake up before Sapphire and the rest of the girls; before the sun decides to grace us with her rays. Sapphire and I are still in the same positions we were in when I climbed into bed with her. She faces me on her side, her hands resting next to her face and I mirror her position on the other side. I slide quietly out of her bed, careful not to wake her and get into mine. Instead of falling back asleep, I lay on my back with my eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

It felt like last night was a wild dream, but I know it wasn't.

I met with the Order and offered to help them.

Not just help. Join them.

I glance back to Sapphire who breathes steadily, her back to me. I wanted to tell her last night. I wanted to tell her so much, but it was too late to discuss everything. Also, I don't think I was ready to anyways. My mind was still reeling with so many thoughts and emotions I wouldn't have been able to put into words to Sapphire what I was doing. And why I did what I did.

I turn my focus to the ceiling again and take a deep breath. What happens next? Gideon informed me that Moony—I still didn't even know his real name—would be coming around Jezebel in the next couple of days with more information once they figure out themselves what the best plan will be to get Lily Potter and her son, Harry, out of Salazar.

While I'm waiting for more details, I was told to keep an eye on Commanders that visit and see if they say anything of use that will help us with our mission.

Our mission. Not theirs. It will take some time getting used to that.

I idly drum my fingers on my stomach because my anxiety is coursing through my veins and my body is humming at me to get up and move around, but it's too early for that.