My life seems like a rolling death trap the harder I try to escape the more it kills me inside...the harder I try to fade the more visible I become but yet when I want to be seen and Hurd nobody is ever there to listen to my words to my voice nobody seems to care but when I want to fade away into a distant memory people want to come and try to listen but if only they truly knew all the pain in my voice and eyes hold if they only knew I cry silently every night if they only knew how much my heart hurts how your hateful words never leave my head they just float there like a piece of plastic on water and yet no matter how hard it tries to sink it never can never escape I just want to sink I'm not strong enough to swim anymore.... I want to fade away like a piece of gum on the sidewalk its not like it would be any different than things are now.... I get tossed around and stepped on like I'm trash..... Nobody seems to care anyway.....in my unharvested field of life I have few joys and good memories.... I had dreams of love and no more pain but yet those dreams seize to exist anymore now my dreams are nightmares they are dark involve a razor and my wrist.... As I watch the blood flow and drip off my pail skin onto the perfect white carpet as I curl up into a ball and cry myself to sleep... Why does this always happen to me??why won't it stop??? Make it end!!! Help me!!! Save me!!!!I scream and begg inside but nobody ever seems to realize I'm crying out for help that I want to be saved I don't want to be forgotten......I just really want to feel loved I want to feel important I want to feel pretty and skinny I want to feel wanted but yet i keep longing for that felling that horrible filling of being fogotten ,abused, neglected... The felling of never being good enough.... Is all I've ever known how to feel... Thats all I know.. When people tell me they love me I just want to cry and cry and cry because I feel lied to... I have never known what it's like to feel wanted to he truly loved and never let go to feel important to somwone .... To feel like without me they would hate life itself.... To feel important to someone.....I'm still surching for that felling.. The felling to fell anything... Anything at all....
