"Damn! I'm yearning again!" I said.
These feet were dragging me once more to that familiar place. It seemed to have a mind of its own — knowing which place to go. I'm currently standing on the ground where you left me tongue tied. Apparently, angst filled my body. And now, I'm still regretting the day when I didn't begged for you to stay.
Four years passed, I hadn't moved a single step forward. I knew it's foolish to play old memories at the back of my head, but this was the only reason that kept my heartbeat even. I'm still holding on to your promise.
The sun was setting, and the night was approaching. Twilight. The sky was changing from the shade of orange to opal until it turned indigo. The view was really nice at this spot. Oh how I wish you were here. And things would be just like the old times when we were together. Well, old men said it was young love, but who cares? — as long as it's true.
"So, you're here again," Red said, snapping me out of my reverie.
"It is really none of your business. Whatever I do with my life is my choice. Now, get lost."
"Is this how you'll greet me, Elrick? No hi, nor hello?" she said sarcastically.
"What do you need?"
"Aunt wants me to check on you," she said in-a-matter-of-fact way. "So, what had happened exactly between the two of you? Ever since I arrived in here . . . you seemed to be very lonesome and depressed. It's not the Elrick I used to know. I'm worried about you."
Her brown eyes were gleaming with tears. It won't be long before she'd start to cry. Red was such a cry-baby. I pat her head then smirked at her.
"Why would you worry about me? I'm perfectly fine, Red. Now, go home."
"No, you're not. Why don't you just tell me what happened exactly?" she insisted.
I released a deep sigh. She had always been so stubborn and annoying. Ever since she arrived, she just won't leave me alone. She had given me none stop inquisition; however, I constantly found ways of escaping from her. I am avoiding her as much as possible. What would she get if she knew anyway?
"She's gone somewhere," I said.
"And?"
"I don't know if she'll ever come back."
". . . "
That was it. She was finally silent. Her face was somber. Honestly, I didn't like that look. I couldn't tell what she's thinking. Maybe she was sorry for what she had heard. Nevetheless, I started pacing away from her.
I'm yearning again. To think that she stopped calling and texting me two years ago didn't changed the fact that I'm still hopelessly waiting for her. She made me believe that she would came back. I'm holding on to her last words before she left. She was way to happy that I, never wanted much, but to see her like that for the rest of my life.
"Hey, Elrick. My parents decided to go after all. That place seems to hold a lot of promises for our future. I should say proudly that my Dad hit it real big this time. Knowing that he would do everything for us makes me feel so lucky," she said. She was very happy, and her smile was so bright. Good fortune came to their family.
"Yeah, that's really something to be proud of," I told her.
"And uhm, Elrick, we're all leaving this town. My whole family would be leaving. This is a rare chance," she said. Her tone changed. "You understand, right?"
"Of course," I answered her half-heartedly. "But you'll come back, won't you?"
"Definitely! What makes you think that this will tear us apart? You can still email me or call me or text me, see," she said while grinning. "Just think that I'll be off for a long vacation."
"Yeah, sure thing Zeffi, a long vacation. Enjoy yourself," I couldn't hold the sarcastic tone from my words.
"Don't make things harder for us, please," she said, her voice was nearly begging.
"I'm sorry. I don't mean it." Now I regretted what I just said.
"It's fine", she murmured.
"I'm really sorry. Please don't cry, Zeffi", I told her.
"I came here to bid goodbye. My words would be simple. I'm silly to be saying this, but just listen. I always wanted you to be happy that's why you don't have to wait for me if it's a burden. Remember that you always have options. Although, it means a lot for me to know that you will be waiting for me, and love me despite the passage of time. And I won't lie if I ask you to please wait for me coz it's my heart's desire. I'll be back in no time. Just, take care. And . . . goodbye for now." She was crying. I hugged and comforted her, coz that's all I can do. I promised her that I'll always be waiting.
There's no sense to ague with her. There's no way to stop her from leaving. It was for the best. Having her family and a good future was far more important. Waiting was the only option I had. . . and loving blindly despite the passage of time.
I kept asking myself why hadn't I tried to beg for her to stay. I could never turn back the time, that's why I am remorseful for letting her go like that.
How long could I stand with our situation? This question was not because I lost hope, but because of the fact that things seemed to be impossible.
