UNBLINKING

FLOWERS IN THE TRASH

Jeiel woke up to the humming sound at the far end of the room. As usual it had to be Agwang preparing for the day. She half-opened her eyes and saw Agwang sitting in front of the mirror doing her make-up, lost in her humming.

"Hummingbirds should find a convenient time to sing rather than interrupt people's peace," Jeiel said as she pulled her covers to her head.

"Oh, you are awake!" Agwang bimmed as though she had been waiting for this moment. "I won't bother asking how your night was 'coz I know it was fun. So, tell me about it." Her face flushed expectantly.

"What are you talking about?" A surprised Jeiel asked, opening her head and eyes a bit more.

"Well, I just came back and met Hamson leaving, I thought he..."

"Drop it!" She cut in. "I've told you guys uncountable times that Hamson and I have nothing going on, he's just a friend." She tried putting a stop to Agwang's prying but the stubborn girl was insistent.

"Then what was he doing here all night?"she asked feigning shyness, playing with the items of her make-up kit.

"I'll leave you to figure that out, but to curb your curiosity, nothing in the realm you are imagining happened."

"Well, from the way he looks at you, you have to admit he has a hard time keeping things that way."

Jeiel always noticed a unique feature in Hamson's gaze but she couldn't, or just did not want it to be connected to him harbouring any queer feelings for her. And how could he? He was her best friend, if not both a brother and father figure. They had met three years ago when they had both just joined campus and for the first time in her life she felt protected by someone stronger than her mother. She always felt safer with this guy more than with anyone else.

"Where's Beth?" Jeiel asked, eager to change the topic.

"Hmm, may be she has another Mr. Charming who's taking her shopping before bringing her back home." Agwang replied turning back to complete her make-up.

"So what are you up to?"

"Hmmmm..... Let's see. I don't have lectures today, I don't have a date..... How about planning for your birthday?"

Jeiel seemed to consider it for a moment before she said, "think I'll let it pass this year."

"What? Neither Hamson, nor Beth will be happy..." she joked.

The two girls chatted on. Jeiel explained that she wasn't quite enthusiastic about celebrating her birthday because her mother wouldn't be around and besides, she didn't have enough money, but she refrained from adding that her biggest fear was someone using her birthday party to track her down and she had no point celebrating her growth when she obviously couldn't grow up to counter Damien's schemes.

Agwang on her side insisted and pointed out to Jeiel that her mother would want her to be happy wherever she is, even in her absence, and that they didn't need a lot of money, all they needed was to be with friends and have a few drinks, which she assured Jeiel not to bother about.

Five days had passed and almost unnoticed. And today she saw her 20th birthday; what could have been more charming, more awakening, more reassuring, than the realisation that you are now a grown up woman? With the help of her friends, Jeiel came to understand that growing up didn't gaurantee one's ability to overcome all challenges but it gave one the strength to fight on no matter what.

And on that date she wished to break free from her childish craving for her mother's protection. And with that, she had prepared to blow candles, cut her cake and watch a movie with a few friends.