Rejecting the Alpha

21 Kylie

He put his hand on my arm gently and halted my forward motion. "Are you sure you want this?"

"No," I said, feeling embarrassed at what I had unthinkingly done. I had just met him, and we didn't even know what we were. I turned away.

His hand slipped down my arm until it reached my hand and pulled me closer to him, drawing me into his arms. He spoke next to my ear. "Don't. It's not that I don't want to. I really want to. I just know that you've been through a lot and I don't want you to do anything you don't want to do."

Even more embarrassing, I felt tears again. "I'm sorry."

His tone was serious. "You don't need to be sorry with me."

"It's just, this pack reminds me of my home."

"You can tell me about it, if you want. You can tell me anything."

I pulled back enough to glance up at his face. We had only known each other a day, but it already felt like a hundred years. I wiped my eyes again.

He led me to a smooth flat boulder, and I sat with my head in his shoulder and his arm around mine. Warm, and safe, and the scenery of miles before our eyes.

"So, you already heard me say I was from Glenhaven. My dad was a pack warrior when I was growing up, and then he began to train the pack warriors the last few years, before..." I sniffled. "He was a really good dad. I miss him. My mom managed the general store on the edge of pack lands, both human and pack customers. Then there were my two brothers. Trevor was my oldest brother and he had followed in Dad's footsteps and defended the pack, and my second older brother was Allan, and he had actually gone off to human university. He was visiting home when it happened. I wish he had not been there then because if not he would at least still be alive."

Vander hugged my shoulder more firmly. I sighed. "Do you have any family?"

I felt rather than saw him nod. "Yeah, my parents still live with the pack, and I've got a sister and brother. Yvonne lives here with her mate, and Will lives with his mate's pack."

I wasn't sure if I should ask, but I wanted to know. "Vander, what happened to your mate?"

His response was immediate. "She was in a car accident and didn't survive."

It must have been a pretty bad one, since werewolves were hard to kill.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"It was a few years ago. I've come to terms with it, and the pack keeps me busy."

We sat there for long moments in silence. His breathing was slow and even.

"It really is dangerous for me to stay here."

"I don't want you to leave."

"I know." What he thought shouldn't matter, but it did.

—————

It was a couple of days before I saw Vander again. I didn't know if he was busy or giving me space. Meanwhile, I was getting used to this pack. I was allowed to move about freely in the common areas.

To keep myself busy, I volunteered in the kitchen. I was no expert cook, but I could follow instructions, and I wanted to give something back to help earn my keep. I chopped veggies and loaded dishwashers and various other tasks.

As I worked, I thought about Lightwood. Almost everyone were so nice and welcoming, I felt guilt crowd my throat at the idea they were in danger because of me. A part of me knew I should go and confess to Alpha Timothy about just who my mate was in Stonemason. Surely he would not have accepted me so readily if he had known of the danger I brought with me.

I made up my mind that I had to come clean on everything. He deserved to know, they deserved to know. And if they didn't want me to stay after they knew the truth, so be it.

I could not quite bring myself to go to the alpha and confess everything to him, I was too nervous. Instead, I sought out Vander.

Since I did not know where he actually was, I had to ask for directions. Lys, one of the women around my own age, was more interested in my query than she should have been.

"Why do you want to see Vander?" she asked, her grey eyes alit with curiosity. She smiled as she brushed a strand of blond hair that was falling out of her ponytail.

"I just need to speak with him," I said simply.

Her knowing smirk told me that she was not interested in believing me, but rather speculating on possible relationships. I sighed but did not argue.

"He should be at home right now, I imagine. His shift this evening wouldn't start until ten. Although he's probably sleeping."

I nodded. "I'll go there closer to when he'll awake. Where's his house?"

"Just north of the pack house. Take the trail and that's where you'll find him." She smiled again. "I'm happy for you two."

"Happy for us...?"

"Well, aren't you his second chance?"

I froze. "Is that what he's been saying?" I know he thought that, but the idea that he might be running around telling other people about it before I knew what was happening bothered me.

Apparently she sensed my feelings on the matter. "Well, no. I just guessed. He seems happier now that you're here, that's all."

"Oh. Okay."

"He was depressed for a long time, since he lost Darlene. He's strong, but it's been hard on him. Sorry that I assumed wrongly."

"It's fine. Just please don't go spreading it around." The last thing I needed was to be the centre of pack gossip when I really did not know what I was feeling. The idea that we were second chance mates was impossible, wasn't it?

I turned my attention back to my kitchen tasks to keep me busy until he would probably be awake.

—————

A couple of hours later, I knocked on the door of the cabin Lys had directed me to. It was moderately sized and had an earthy feel to it, and I instantly liked how warm it appeared, especially compared to the cold isolation of Stonemason.

There was no answer for long enough that I began to worry that I had come too soon and was disturbing him, but then the door cracked open and he was standing there, tousled and shirtless, hard torso on display for my hungry gaze above a pair of plaid pyjama pants that hung just low enough on his hips to make my mouth water.

My eyes wandered like they had a mind of their own, before returning to his face to see his surprise turn into smiling bemusement. His mouth crooked at the corner.

"Can I help you with something, Kylie?"