Mia's POV:
I'm getting ready for work. I'm working back at LUSH again. Joe's just gone to London on the train to meet up with Caspar and Oli for old times sake. I honestly am dreading today. If I get a panic attack or anxiety attack I really don't want Joe to come back just for me. I want him to have a nice day meeting up with his friends.
I wash my hair in the shower then dry it and straighten it. A bit too much heat on it but oh well, I hardly ever put heat on my hair. I apply my makeup and change out of my dressing gown and into a black kami top with a big white knit cardigan and some black leggings. I brush my teeth, grab my phone and bag, put on my brown boots and throw on a black beanie, take a deep breath and leave the flat.
I'm walking to work, headphones in, listening to music and see someone. Not now. Why now.
I feel my breathing get faster, sharper. My eyes go blurry round the edges and I feel sick lurching in my stomach. A panic attack. Again.
I quickly sit down on a nearby bench and put on my calm.com app on and play some wave sounds.
When I'm calm I ring Zoe and we have a chat and she motivates me, telling me to face to work and that it will be fine.
The girl I saw was Jasmine, she had a tiny baby in a pushchair (her and Joe's baby, which made it though to look at her) she was standing with a tall dark haired and quite good looking man who was clearly her new man and the baby's new dad.
She was walking into a baby shop and I kept my head down so she thankfully didn't notice me.
I wiped my face and quickly re-did my concealer and mascara and then put on yet another fake smile and walked to LUSH with my head held high.
I walked in and said hi to everyone and had a great day at work. I was on my way home from work when I got a text from Joe, it read:
'Zoe told me you had a panic attack earlier, babe. You should of rang me and I'd have come to see you. Hope works gone alright! I'll be home at around 5 so should be home when you get back. I have something to ask you! -J xx'
My heart nearly burst as I read the text and saw he'd called me 'babe', I was in love and he was the one. I mean it.
I replied:
'Hello! Nooo I didn't ring you cause I didn't want to ruin your reunion with the boys. I wanted you to have a good day and not worry about me. I'm fine now, I'll tell you about it when I get home. Works going good, as I work 9-5 I'll be home at 5:15 ish. Love u -M x'
I pressed send and did another hour of working at LUSH. At one point two of mine and Joe's viewers came in and told me that Joe and I were their idols and she loved our videos and thought we were a perfect couple, that really brightened my day!
I eventually finished my shift and LUSH closed at five so I plugged my headphones into my iPhone and put on Spotify and put on the soundtrack from Wicked the musical (it made me happy because when Joe and I lived in London he took me to see it in the West End for my birthday and I loved it). I walked back and as I opened the door to my flat Joe was sat on the sofa looking perfect as usual in black skinny jeans and a pale blue t-shirt.
He smiled and got off the sofa removing his laptop from his lap. He wrapped me in a warm hug.
We talked about our days and I explained the panic attack after seeing Jasmine with his and her child and another man. Joe didn't care and said he was happy her and some other man were looking after their child, he kinda forgot about her and pretended he didn't have an accidental child.
"Time for the question..." Joe said.
"Yeaaah. Ask away!" I replied.
"Well I was thinking how we've been together a few months and I love you so much and I think you are the one Mia. Would you like to move in with me?" Joe asked.
"Oh my god Joe!" I squealed, "would I? Yes! I love you too.." I trailed off as happy tears brimmed in my eyes.
This was great. I hope one day we'll get married and have children.
Maybe happy endings do exist. One day I'll have a happy ending. Maybe the tunnel of depression is coming to an end. Maybe I can be happy now.
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Gone When I Need You Most - A Joe Sugg Fan Fiction
FanfictionNOTE: this fan fiction was written by my 14 year old fangirl self and it's very different to how I write now. Its terrible and the plot is all over the place because I never made notes or anything. I would delete it if it didn't get so many reads an...