EUPHORIA→ s.stilinski [1] ✔️

1.15 chapter fifteen ✔️

CHAPTER FIFTEEN
A GUITLY CONSCIOUSNESS
"i'm a natural disaster"
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Supposedly drowning was the worst way to die, according to some. The burning sensation in your lungs would last an eternity. You see, when drowning, your body keeps you from inhaling. It knows that if you do, it's over. But once you do take that breath, all the pain goes away. Slowly, you slip into the peaceful darkness. Finally, it was all over.

Some may say 'but what if you don't open your mouth, what if you don't let the water in'. Well, that is sadly not possible. It's a bodily reflex to give in to it all at one point or another. There was no avoiding the inevitable.

Shivani had never viewed the water as her enemy, or a threat for that matter. She adored it, it was a part of her. Turning into a mermaid only magnified that feeling. It was like she was meant to be one. . . Whenever she swam she worked with the water. She could never explain the euphoric feeling of it all. To imagine that the water had power to kill and was some people's greatest fear was almost unimaginable to the girl.

Yet here she was, sitting across from Ms. Morrell, Beacon Hills High's only guidance counselor. They were discussing what had happened to a fellow student. Matt Daehler was dead. They had found him around the same time Stiles and Shivani had bid each other farewell that late, or early, night. He had drowned, ironically enough. In all truth, Shivani had no idea what to feel. Was she suppose to mourn his death? Before all of this, he was just some traumatized kid, then he became a monster. And now? Now, he was nothing.

Shivani Caddel was that girl that cried when someone died in a movie. She was girl that cried when her father brought her mother flowers, or did any romantic gesture in general. She was the girl that cried when she killed a spider out of fear, but quickly regretted doing so afterwards. The Caddel girl was extremly emotional at times, and most of her emotions would lead to tears.

But Shivani wasn't feeling a sliver of grief or guilt. Matt was dead, he had died. Maybe it just hadn't sunken in yet. But it had been two days since it had happened. Maybe Shivani was changing. In that case, the question remained. Was it for the better or worse? She wasn't sure if she even wanted to know.

"Do you think Matt felt some peace in his last moments?" Ms. Morrell's question broke Shivani's train of thoughts. Her eyes were locked on her hands in her lap. She was tired, and conflicted. She didn't want to talk about this. In fact, she didn't even want to think about it. Now that the Daehler was dead, it was all finally over. Maybe she could finally return to a somewhat normal life.

"I guess. . ." Shivani replied with a shrug. "I mean, he killed a bunch of people."

Ms. Morrell leaned back in her chair. "It's completely normal to feel bad for someone that has done terrible things. Do you feel bad for nine year old Matt who drowned?"