Fear - Clexa

Fear

      Lexa and Clarke lay in silence at the apex of the night. Clarke's head rested on Lexa's chest in complete stillness. Lexa gently stroked the blonde hair before her, careful not to wake the sleeping beauty. Lexa's eyes, fluttering, struggled to stay open. Her arm tightened around her girlfriend, pulling Clarke closer to her warm body. Wanting to cherish this moment forever, Lexa rested her head on Clarke's.

     Lexa was overprotective, it was no secret. Being Heda, she was used to being in command. With her arm wrapped around Clarke, she felt fulfillment. She felt that she was the protector of the world, watching out for Clarke as she slept. Lexa placed a gentle kiss on Clarke's head, feeling pure ecstasy and love towards her sky girl.

//

       Clarke sprang upwards. Struggling to breathe, her head felt heavy, her chest tightened, while her fingers trembled with fear. Her heart was pounding. It had only been an hour since Lexa had fallen asleep. However, she woke up alarmed at Clarke's sudden movements. She sat up, worried to see Clarke in such a state.

     "You were— you were dead. You were shot. I couldn't save you... You were gone," Clarke cried, recalling her nightmares. Her hands scattered around Lexa's face touching her smooth skin, making sure that she was most definitely alive.

     "Shhh, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere Clarke," Lexa reassured. Lexa positioned herself in front of Clarke, engulfing her into an intimate hug. She placed her hand on Clarke's back, drawing circles with her fingers. Warmth immediately spread through Clarke's body, as her girlfriend's steady touch worked to soothe her. Her head rested on Lexa's shoulder, while Lexa stroked her hair and held her in tight. Clarke's grip tightened around her waist, almost to reassure herself that Lexa was still there.

     Lexa knew how to comfort Clarke. It was one of the things Clarke loved most about her. Her touch alone pushed Clarke closer to tranquility.

      After a moment passed, Lexa pulled back, staring into Clarke's breathtaking blue eyes that were now filled with tears. She gently wiped Clarke's tears with her thumb. Leaning forward, she began placing small kisses around Clarke's face, stopping only to pull her blond hair behind her ears. Clarke felt her soft lips on her skin, each kiss was a message saying I love you. Tenderly, Lexa moved her lips to kiss her girlfriend's. The feeling of Lexa's lips on hers momentarily distracted Clarke from the horrors she had just experienced.

     Clarke often forgot that her girlfriend was Heda. With her, at least, Lexa was so incredibly gentle. Her presence offered a bulwark against any opposing forces and her protectiveness made Clarke always feel loved.

     Now, Lexa pressed her forehead to Clarke's and closed her eyes. Sometimes silence spoke louder than words. In such deep love, the two women felt each other's company was enough; The touch of a hand, the warmth of one another. Lexa's steady breath guided Clarke's into a consistent rhythm. When she had finally managed to calm down completely, Lexa whispered, "lie with me". After a nod from Clarke, Lexa laid back down on their furs, opening her arm for Clarke to join her. Clarke followed, nesting her head on Lexa's chest, curling herself next to her girlfriend. As Lexa caressed Clarke's arm, she asked, "Are you ok, Clarke?"

   Clarke hesitated, knowing the truth was not welcoming. Finally, tears threatening to spill over, she replied, "Lexa, in the dream, y—you died,"

    "I am not going anywhere Clarke. I am right here," Lexa said. Clarke dug herself deeper into her protector, uncertain. Lexa carefully took Clarke's hand and put it on her chest. Clarke felt her warmth, as well as the steady heartbeat of her lover. "Do you feel my heartbeat?" Lexa asked. Clarke nodded. "I am here"

     Clarke was still unsettled. This dream hadn't just been a dream. It was a wake up call. Lexa was the commander of 13 clans. It was an extremely dangerous position. Clarke had always known this, yet never acknowledged it. The thought alone that Lexa could be gone in a second caused her to become anxious. She couldn't imagine life without the love of her life. Who would be there to comfort her? Protect her? Who would she fall asleep next to? How could she possibly manage to wake one day without Lexa by her side? It would be unbearable, yet it felt all too familiar.

     "Clarke." Lexa could sense that Clarke was still skeptical. "Look at me," she urged. Clarke didn't move, staying in her cocoon of a girlfriend. Sighing at her sky girl's stubbornness, Lexa gently lifted Clarke's chin up towards her face. Lexa's eye contact was mesmerizing. During meetings, Clarke often noticed how her emerald eyes could stare daggers into an ambassador and extract the truth. It was as if she was a snake searching for prey. Clarke only saw this side of Lexa in the company of other people. It was amazing how different she was when just the two of them were alone. Now, her eyes stared lovingly into Clarke's, with nothing but reassurance. "I will always be with you," she said persistently, before placing a kiss on her head. Lexa then brought Clarke's head into her chest and wrapped her arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug.

     "I love you Lexa." Clarke whispered, closing her eyes as sleep slowly overcame her once more. This made Lexa smile. It was the kind of smile that only appeared when Clarke was in her presence.

     "I love you too, Clarke," Lexa chuckled.

A/N: This is my first time writing a fanfic but if you guys want me to do more oneshots lmk in the comments! Thx for reading! :)