Alive

Preface

Other than for religious reasons what evidence do we really have of a life after death. How and who created this second life and an invisible, undetected form that can reside along side all of us. Of course there is something in the bible that's enough proof to convince even drug addicts to change their ways, even though they aren't really that smart so it probably doesn't take much to convince them of anything. But then we have people like me, Who hasn't been to church, let alone picked up a bible, a day in her life. After death there is nothing, and that is what people are afraid of. Nothing. So they created all of these theories to make themselves feel better. There are no feelings or regret, you can't wish you had done something be cause you no longer exist. Every bucket list is just something to please everyone else so they have something to speak about at your funeral. We spend time and countless hours trying to leave a legacy, exhausting and stressing ourselves over it. What will my legacy be? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. I will continue to get B's, I won't join a sport or go skydiving, I won't be auditioning for movies and plays. I'll continue my life as it is until I decide I'm done and then I'll kill myself or die naturally. It's simple. When I was 12 I walked downstairs and saw my mom stabbing my brother. I might have been a little less freaked out if earlier that day she hadn't told me that he was going to boarding school which made me realise the whole thing was planned. She never been crazy or anything and my brother hadn't done anything to her she just didn't want two children. I asked her why she didn't kill me considering I was the newest and youngest. And all she said was "you haven't lived yet". Which then brought me here 4 years later realising I hate living. Im a "club" or "group", what ever the hell you want to call it, with my 4 closest and only friends; Harry, Jake, Kylie, and Lauren, where we all just really don't give a fuck about what's gonna happen. We don't sit around and do drugs and skip class. We go to school, get decent grades and don't do many drugs, but we really don't think about a bucket list. When we die. We die. And that attitude toward life has caused us to not be that popular. We really only have each other. Kylie lost her mom in a car accident. She dove their car off a bridge during a driving lesson and her mom died. Jake's dad was a drunk and beat his family. He also ran over his dog because he forgot to clean his room when he was 9. Later that day his dad killed himself and all his note said was "I loved that dog more than I loved you" which is something that I imagine is very hard for a 9 year old to hear. Harry's dad left them when he was 10. They became homeless and his mom died of pneumonia a few months later which left him and his sister to be bounced around in the foster care system. Lauren's dad raped her since she was 7 and so when she was 14 she covered him and his bed in gasoline and lit him on fire. In the court case she won and only got therapy because turned out she was pregnant. Which a month later became a miscarriage. Something else to add on to her list of traumatic events. I guess you could say that we are all a little...strange. But we all have our reasons for why we are the way we are. Other people may say depressed but I'm perfectly fine. I don't feel sad. None of us do.
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Okay so I suck at writing but please keep reading it will probably get better. Umm But yeah. I hope you keep reading and you like it.