Failure

Chapter 1

WARNING: This story contains vulgar and descriptive writing. It deals with sucide and self harm. If you do not like this kind of story please do not read. This story is fiction and is not based on any real life experiences. Please Read At own RISK!!

Ellie P.o.v
My life was always trouble.
My mom was a slut.
My mom was a whore.
At eight i didnt really know what that meant, all I knew was different men every night.
Different men that would sneak in my room and tell me not to scream.
To me they were monsters that crept from out under your bed, I would close my eyes and think of a better place. There was really no better place, all I knew was this.
I never met my dad and I had no friends, it was always just me and my mom.
I guess you can say my life wasn't the greatest and I would agree with you but my mom loved me, I knew that was true. What I didn't understand is why did she make me feel her pain?

8 Years Earlier

It was a normal day for me, I walk myself home from school and I fix my own lunch. While I was looking through the cabinets I heard the door open. I was confused because my mom doesn't come home until midnight. "Hello?" I question.
"Sweety hey." Oh it was my mom.
"What are you doing home so early?" She claimed she just wanted to spend time with me because she misses me, then I believed her, but now I hate her. She ruined me and my life that day.

We spent the whole day together watching the television but she wasn't all there. Before the day even begun she took some pills and has been drinking. She wasn't even my mom to me she was a zombie. Hours later of sitting on the couch in the corner of my eye I see my mom move and she grabbed the remote turning the tv off.
"Hey I was watching that!" I exclaimed.
"Sweety we need to talk." I never heard her talk so sincere before, so motherly. She looked at me with this guilt in her eyes and in my heart I felt like something bad was gonna happen.
"I have been such a bad mother to you, I haven't gave you the care you need or even show you the love a mother is supposed to give. This world makes you do stupid things and I thought I could be stronger for you but I cant, I am giving up. I cant do this anymore baby...I am...so so...rry." She said all this while crying then she gave me an apologetic smile and pulled a gun out from beside the couch. "Mommy what... what are you doing? What is that please mommy." I was scared, I have been through so much and fear was never a part of my life but at this moment I was terrified. All I could do was cry. So I started sobbing.
"Baby please dont cry, the world is awful and I just can't bear having you go through all this pain." As she said that she pointed the gun at me,
"Mommy please, please don't Im sorry." I screamed in-between sobs. Then she dropped the gun from my head and starting crying.
"Ellie I'm so sorry I scared you baby, I love you and I need you to do something for me. Please cover your eyes I dont want you to see this."
"Mommy--"
"Cover them now baby." She picked up my hands and put them over my eyes. I felt the heat in my cheeks and the tears streaming down. In that moment all I thought about was what life would have been like for me with a good mom, loving father, and brother and sisters. My life would have been great it would have been something. I would have never went through all this pain, I would be --- "BAM!"
I jumped when I heard something hit the floor. I had my eyes closed but all i could do was scream and cry. I screamed so loud that I didnt even hear the police break into the house. When I finally uncovered my eyes there my mom lay in a puddle of blood, she left this world. She tried to be brave for me but she just didn't have anymore strength.

That was eight years ago. I am sixteen now and I live with a woman whom I call Mrs. Moseley, and her young boy Dylan. Dylan is the only person I talk to in this home. When I first arrived here he was the only person my age. He told me that he never met his father nor mother and that life was just him. We shared common intrest and became the best of friends. He told me he would help keep me happy and hopeful in this world. But still to this day I will forever live with my mothers pain.