Where are you?

Chp.1 Where am I

I was heavily breathing on a Sunday afternoon waiting for James still. he hasn't been seen by anyone for the past 4 months it's been very scarey like he left in the blink of an eye I can't find him people have been saying I'm insane for thinking he's still here. All the Lawyers I've talked to and good friends that help me say I'm crazy and that he did leave that he did die but I don't believe it he's still here! I know it he's not dead! He can't be! The world needs him. I need him. I know he's not dead I can feel it I don't want him to be. I'll find him he'll come back to me he's not dead please oh lord don't be dead please. That night I cried myself to sleep deadly thinking of him waiting for him still to come. The next morning was a dark rainy cold bitter day just like how my mood felt. I'm thinking about trying to find him I just am thinking that maybe that this is real and that he did get hit and died in the army. I just don't want to face the truth it's been 5 months today since he's "died" and my friends say that since I'll be 25 this November I need to find a man. I don't wanna have love again Kori Rose Lee has a man people may say he's dead but he's not dead in my heart. I called my friend Davis to help me out and about James I told him that I'm not insane and James isn't dead. Because he just can't be just like the others I knew he would think I'm crazy and tell me that he is dead and that he really did die in the army. But no Davis said this "Kori are you really feeling this way be honest?"
"Yes Davis! I'm not being insane he comes to me saying he's alive in my dreams and he needs me to get him"
"Kori, We all know you need him. And you need to find James ur love of your life"
"Wait oh my god! Are you serious were gonna try to find him?!"
"Yes"
And tomorrow we're planning to go find him. The next morning was a chilly morning It was very windy as my long braided brown hair swayed from side to side waving with the wind and me taking deep breaths waiting for Davis. After about an hour Davis came and I got into the car. We drove around for hours just talking. I've been thinking that maybe James is dead maybe it's true and I do need to face the truth...We went to the grave yard to visit James' grave and every movement I walked closer and closer to his grave it got colder and foggier I was 4 inches away from getting to his grave when I blinked out and just fell on the floor.I wasn't waking up all I could see was white just white something was appearing in my eyes it looked like a person knew. Where am I?