Forsaken: The Chosen Trilogy - Book One

Chapter Eleven: Part Two

KRYSSA

576 - 577A.F.

My stolen moments with Vitric became yet another of my secrets, although it was infinitely preferable to the others I kept. I do not know why I did not tell my siblings, for I am sure they would have understood, and been glad for my happiness. Perhaps it was because, for the first time, I had something that was wholly wonderful and mine, and I selfishly had no desire to share. Perhaps it was because I had no wish to untangle the knot of emotion that Vitric caused whenever he was near me, did not want to examine my feelings and tear them apart and see what lurked beneath, and I worried they would force me to.

Whatever the reason, I did not tell them, nor did I tell Vitric our secrets, though I think that he guessed. He ceased to ask me about the bruises that covered my arms, but his frowns spoke volumes, and I could see the worry building in his eyes. When the concern grew too great, I would kiss him until he forgot it again, preventing questions I could not answer.

Summer faded into fall. Our harvest was better that year than it had been since our mother had died, though our father had at last given up any pretense of caring at all for the farm, or for his children. I spent more time in the village, though the extra work I took on was truly just an excuse to see Vitric, rather than a desire to make a few more coins.

Winter came, bitter and cold; I barely noticed. I battled waist-deep drifts of snow, trekking to the village each day in the hopes that I might see Vitric. He rarely disappointed me, slipping away from his house to kiss me in the woods, warming me for the long walk home.

Spring arrived at last, melting away the snows. With it came the peddlers, and news from other places, which Vitric passed on to me during our lingering walks home. There was unrest in the capital of Val Estus, and famine in Cardoza. A university in the far-off kingdom of Tante had been closed due to a war I didn't understand, and its students were rioting- but the news made little sense to me. My whole world for so long had been the farm and the village and the mile between them that I barely remembered the maps Janis had shown to me when I was little.

Vitric saw this, and bought a map the next day from one of the peddlers to show me. We sat beneath the great trees in a small clearing, my head cradled on his shoulder as he explained the vast expanse of the world to me. The day was warm and languorous, the air filled with the drowsy scent of roses in bloom as he planned out his dreams for us to explore the world together.

"We'll travel to Tante, and see the Mirama Falls." His eyes were green today, and bright with excitement. "Then we'll go to Omvaliveysh in the Ice Flats, and see the ice palace of the Elves."

I smiled, remembering. "I'll have to get a pegasus for my sister."

"We'll get a pegasus for each of them." He grinned, and kissed the tip of my nose. "Then we can go to Cardoza and see the Royal University."

"What about Cynvali? I thought you wanted to look for that lost city of gold."

"Del Keptrah? We'll do that first." His arm tightened around me. "Just let me know when you're ready to leave."

I swallowed, reality settling like a heavy weight onto my shoulders. It was a pretty fantasy, one I yearned for- but how could I leave the others, when Father's black moods were becoming all the more frequent? He raised his fists and his voice nearly every night, raining hate down upon us like hailstones. He had found a short horse whip somewhere- we never knew where he had acquired it- and used it to strike at us, catching us around the legs and shoulders when we upset him, leaving stinging marks of fire on our skin. He did not even weep anymore when his rages finished, but simply collapsed, his eyes hollow and vacant.

How could I abandon my brothers and sisters to his cruelty?

I longed for the dream Vitric spun before me, but I could not leave. He pressed me for promises, and I could only kiss him helplessly, unable to speak, knowing anything I said would be empty.

Summer drew closer, and with it, my eighteenth birthday. Vitric's kisses grew more insistent, and I hesitated as he pushed me toward a step I was not ready to take. I had grown up on a farm; I had no illusions about the ways of men and women. But it was a step I was unsure of, one I worried over. If I were to get pregnant, Vitric and I would be forced to marry, and my siblings would be all alone.

I was not ready- and in the end, it turned out not to matter.