Where the Heart Is |Virgato|

Chapter 20

Later on that night, Chris sits at the kitchen table with a glass of red wine and a mostly clean conscience. Sharing a drink at night after the kids have gone to bed is something he and Joel have started doing together recently. It's nice to have someone to actually talk to, especially since his other friends are usually busy with their own lives and problems. However, Joel is Christopher's friend now, too. They've come to a point where they can comfortably talk about a wide range of things, which is why Chris doesn't hesitate in telling Joel about all of the details from earlier that afternoon.

"So, how did they take it?" Joel asks, raising his own glass to his lips to take a sip of the dark red liquid.

"Well, they were still very confused at first, just as you said that they would be," Chris explains. He smiles, then. "But they took it a lot better than I imagined that they would. Then we... kind of had a bit of a crying session afterwards, but I think that it was good for them to express their sadness." he pauses and shakes his head. "I mean, us. I was good for me, too."

Hearing Chris admit his own pain puts the warmest smile on Joel's face, and he reaches across the table to rest his hand on top of Christopher's. It's also worth mentioning that they seem to have grown closer in a physical sense as well, though not in a way that would make their relationship unprofessional.

For instance, ever since the ride home from the beach a couple weeks back, Joel has taken it upon himself to perform little comforting gestures like this. When Chris is feeling down or worried that his efforts of trying to become a better father aren't working, Joel will sometimes take him by the hand and look into his eyes while uttering words of reassurance. Other times, he'll gently squeeze Christopher's arm, rest a hand on the small of his back, and one time he even pulled Chris into a hug on a particularly bad day. Chris has to admit that it actually managed to make him feel a bit better, and that it was a really nice hug, too.

What Chris won't admit or even acknowledge is the warm feeling that flares up in his belly whenever Joel does things like this. That's a problem for another day, so for now, Chris accepts the soft hand atop his own and returns the smile that he's given.

"That was really brave of you," Joel tells him. He gives Christopher's hand a nice squeeze before letting go, and it hardly takes half a second before Chris begins missing the comforting warmth that it provided him.

He clears his throat and says, "Was it? I mean, that conversation was something that I should have had with them a long, long time ago."

"Maybe. Or, maybe today was as good a time as any. The point is that you did, and you didn't wait until it was far too late. So really, I think that you should be proud of yourself."

"I suppose," Chris mutters. He twirls the thin glass in his hand and watches the liquid within slush around in circles. "But at the same time, I don't think that it's anything to be especially proud of. Parents who gloat about doing the things they're already supposed to be doing are not good parents."

Joel hums in agreement. "You're not wrong about that. Also, that right there is what we need to work on next."

Chris frowns. "My... gloating?"

"No, silly!" Joel tips his head back and laughs. When he looks forward again, his expression is that of amusement. "I meant your self-deprecation."

"My what?" Chris chuckles at the absurdity of such a statement. "I don't think that that'll be necessary, Joel. I'm not self-deprecating."

Joel snorts and rolls his eyes. "Well of course you would say that. But take it from someone who talks to you every day, okay. You've got it bad."