Falling From Cloud 9

Chapter Two

A/N: hey so its been QUITE a long time since I put the first part to this story. Two reasons behind that:
1. things were really good and I didn't feel like writing about my dark past at that time.
2. things got really bad and I couldn't handle bringing up those memories.
but im here to share more.

Bullying went on for years. It wasn't that intense stuff you see in movies. It was little things slowly breaking me down.

By grade six things started looking up; I was finally going to escape that hell hole.

But no. Fate had other plans for me.

Those words that everyone dreads; "we need to talk."

Well this time they came from my mother. She is a sweet lady, anything you could ever ask for in mother.

When I sat down on the sofa between her and my father, their faces were deadly serious.

In the next few minutes I only remember a few things;

• Cancer

• Tears

• Heart break

It seemed the lowest, darkest time of my life.

But now I realize that shit was only childs play. I'm getting to that part but first you need to know the start of the story.

I'm not going to go into detail because that part of my life was a daze to be honest.

All I remember was the distinct smell of hospitals and sick people.

I remember the feeling I constantly got when I saw my 'friends' running away laughing at me.

I remember the hateful stares from everyone.

The constant nagging from those who actually care to acknowledge my existence.

Tears streaking down my stained face.

It was okay at first; we were handling the fact that my mum had cancer.

But that one day. That one fucking horrible day when the was started cracking.

I had an argument with mum. Stupid. It was so fucking stupid. I think she said I couldn't have another piece of cake or something so fucking stupid it was pointless.

But I was mad. I stomped off like a spoilt brat. I did what I normally did.

I didn't know it would end with my mum in tears.

It wasn't even the argument she was crying over. It was the stress getting to her.

She knew that.

I knew that.

My dad didn't.

He came into my room, yelling at me, telling me it was all my fault.

EVERY FUCKING THING WAS MY FAULT.

This made me sad. This broke me.

That caused my mum to get mad at my dad for blaming me; resulting in my dad blaming me even more.

The next few weeks were a blur. Trying to stay out of my dads way.

One morning it happened again. He snapped. Blamed me for everything again.  (This isn't an abuse story btw there was never abuse involved).

I wouldn't wear a jacket that was 7 years too snall for me.

Stupid, right?

Well apparently that was a reason for my dad to tell me he didn't love me anymore. To tell me that he couldn't be my father anymore.

I went to school with a tear stained face.

That night I knew I was walking on a razor blade tightrope.

I knew I was about to fall, nothing was a safe thing that night. I knew any word could set him off. I knew any gesture,  innocent or not, could start a storm.

I didn't want to eat vegetables.

Again, FUCKING STUPID.

He told my I would never change.

I didn't understand that.  But I understand the hatred in his eyes.

I left the room in tears.

I went to the dining room because it was the only other place in our house that had heating.

I cried.

For hours.

Finally my mum came home from wherever she was.

I was scared.

I was scared of her leaving me.

I was scared of dad turning her against me.

I was scared of losing the only thing I had left.

But she didn't leave me.

She held me till my tears ran out.

That night she slept in my room with me.

It was a peaceful night. Until about 2am.

I woke up to mum's voice.

She was on the phone to dad. He was in hospital.

I didn't understand why. Mum told me his heart had some problems.

I blamed it on myself. I had been the one making him angry and upset and I blamed myself.

I cried for another hour.

The next day I went to visit dad in hospital. 

He managed to convince me it wasn't my fault.

After that some shit happened.

Not going to go into detail but anyway.

I graduated primary school.

I was so fucking happy to leave those shitheads behind.

I thought I would be happy from then on.

MUST READ
A/N: Okay another quick note.

When I started this story I was just gonna write the story about what happened in this chapter.

When I started this story that was all I really had to write about.

Once I left primary school I was happy.

I believed in miracles. I believed in happy endings.

I believed in myself.

But things haven't exactly gone to plan.

I don't know if you noticed in the last chapter I said something like 'this story isn't gonna turn into one of those stories where the girl gets depressed and starts cutting',
the thing is, when I said that I honestly believed that.
But once again life fucked me overm

If you aren't good with that sort of stuff or just don't like it or don't understand it in general then it's probably best for you to fuck off.

Honestly things have gotten bad. Really bad.

This story isn't one that is completely coherent... It's sort of my like a random shit diary thing. I might skip over random things,  go back to other things. Idk.

Anyway bye for now.