ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ // 𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐤𝐮 (𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐭)

ᴀ ʏᴇᴀʀ ᴛᴏ ʟᴏᴠᴇ

It was a chilly night of autumn, leaves fluttering around in the air as the two stood. Or one of them did. Shoto was down on his left knee, an open little box in his hand as he confessed his love yet again, his love for the blonde from when they were still stupid highschool kids. His admiration and a last "Will you marry me?"
I think we all know katsuki's answer to that, but as his now fiance slid the ruby laced ring on his finger, he couldn't help but think back at their highschool years. Though as the memories took over his mind, he could only realise that.... Katsuki hadn't felt any different either. He had always admired shoto, even from afar, or in class when his classmate was not paying attention. He especially loved staring at the top of his head and messy hair as shoto scribbled in his sketchbook. He'd always wanted to run his fingers through the mismatched locks just to know if they felt as silky as they looked. Another thing he loved about shoto were his eyes. Anything that had anything in common with his eyes, meaning his eyelashes as well. He loved the cyan and dark grey color of shoto's eyes, and he loved how the white and red lashes matched his hair. It all made him look absolutely ethereal but admitting that would lead to angry yelling for katsuki. He also loved his nonchalant reactions, and when shoto would get confused by his own words. He loved how calm and rational he could keep himself even through their hardest times, he loved how he hardly ever smiled but when he smiled, it was for katsuki. He remembered that one time at I-island where he first saw shoto's smile, confusing him on why the boy was smiling at him so lovingly. And most of all, he loved him. He loved this stupid, dense and just idiotically blunt man. He loved him too damn much that the thought of someone better stealing shoto away was already making him feel like crying. He was inferior, inferior to izuku, inferior to yaoyorozu even though shoto had promised all his being to him. He knew they could make shoto happier but he couldn't help wanting all of him.
Though there he stood, pulled into a warm embrace by strong arms while his tears decorated the already gorgeous ring on his finger.
Katsuki was so lost in thought that he almost missed the hug he was pulled in, quickly snapping out of his thoughts as he wiped away the tears that peaked at his eyelids. "Ah- What were you saying, again?" He turned around, eyes just a little puffy from crying as he held shoto's face in his hands, stroking his cheeks lovingly. He would give anything to stay with this man. He would give up on every damn goal of his if it meant that no one would take him away from katsuki. And somewhere deep in his heart, the blonde boy knew he wasn't all that great. He knew there were better, kinder, prettier and funnier people out there who might have taken an interest in his boy. But after all, shoto was his, not theirs. No one else made him smile like katsuki could. No one made him feel as warm and fuzzy inside as Katsuki could and if we summed it up, we could say that both of the idiots loved each other pretty damn much. Maybe katsuki did a little too much but he didn't care as long as he, and only he, was held by his lover so close and made him feel a little less inferior, a little less scared, and just a little more loved. "God- You're fucking stupid" it wasn't his fault, but here had katsuki started to sob again, face squished into his boy's chest as he sobbed and hiccuped non-stop. Katsuki clutched on his shirt as if he knew he'd disappear someday. The tears kept falling, leaving dark, wet spots on shoto's shirt. Katsuki needed him there with all his being, for all the stupid affection he could give, all the kisses his lips could take, all the warmth he was able to portrait, it was all shoto's. And fuck did he not care if the man intended to hurt him one day. He couldn't help falling harder for his heterochromatic boy. His fiance. His source of happiness, his little safe zone. Shoto was his. Only his. Or so he thought- "..Fuck- Just don't let go.." He could only plead for the man to stay, he didn't know what was happening and nor did he know what the hell these emotions were, as if all his bottled up feelings were releasing themselves into shoto's chest. Maybe they were striving for his heart, maybe katsuki wanted to be the only one on shoto's mind, maybe he wanted to be the only one he thought about as he laid awake. Maybe, maybe he wanted to hurt himself for the man. Maybe he'd risk it and give all of himself to shoto. And maybe, just maybe.. He'd live a life of his dreams with him. But little did he know, that these stupid feelings would be fatal for him.
.....Ah did he rethink all to himself, as he kneeled by shoto's grave, face already painted with tears. Did he rethink all he felt that day they got engaged. Those lovely tears, they weren't there. They were replaced by agonizing sobs as katsuki's knees dug in the wet ground. Oh what he'd give to kiss his lover again, to hold him during late nights again. But no. No, maybe they weren't meant to be.

'Oh こいびと...
I'm afraid I only had a year to love, but a year wasn't enough'