Rose (The Billionairess, #1.5)

Chapter 18: Red Hot

I wasn't thinking rationally. Some part of me knew that, but that part was overtaken by the cacophony of rage inside my head.

That brute. That bastard. That son of a bitch.

Even after all these years, even after everything it proved, how did he always leave me stuttering? So helpless and lost of control?

I needed to feel that control again.

My hand fisted into Thomas's shirt as I dragged him out of the car and up toe the penthouse. I pulled him to the Playroom and tossed him onto the floor. He grunted as he hit the floor.

"Rose" he said.

His voice was soft, full of concern, but I was too feral in my anger to even listen.

"That stupid man" I growled. "That possessive, manipulative, selfish, son of a bitch..."

My body tingled. I needed to regain the power I let Tristen sap from me. All this burning in me needed to go somewhere.

I grabbed one of whips off the wall, then snapped it at the air above Thomas's head. My pointed my glare at him, and he gave me a look. Not that kind of sweet fear of a submissive to his mistress. But of a young man truest terrified.

I should have stopped there. Even just recalling the incident makes me sick to my stomach. That poor boy, who did nothing wrong in his life, looking at me with those deer-in-the-headlights eyes.

"Mistress," he breathed. "I don't---"

But in my anger, in my foolish, burning anger, I did not stop.

I grabbed him by the front of his shirt and pushed him onto the bed. He froze, waiting for me to strike him. He lifted his hands to shield himself,

"Mistress...please don't..." he pleaded, then began repeating our safe word. "Mercy...mercy...mercy mistress, please."

The safe word should have been enough, but my hand gripped the whip's handle tight, and I lifted it in the air. Thomas squeezed his eyes shut, preparing for the impact.

I thought of sending it down. I imagined the leather leaving strips of red across his skin.

But then I couldn't do it. The anger in me drained out, and I was my precious baby shivering with genuine fear in the bed we once made love in. Suddenly my senses came to me, and I realized what I was doing.

I felt myself collapsing form within. No...no, no, no I shouldn't be doing this.

I goosed the whip aside, then crawled onto bed with Thomas. I hugged his precious head close my chest, close my heart where he belonged. I tried to stifle the tears in my eyes, but I couldn't help me. Sobs escaped up my chest and throat.

"My baby" I whispered into my lover's hair. "My poor boy..."

He gave the safe word, and I didn't listen. I let my own anger overtake me, and I almost hurt the most innocent creature I'd ever met. Just touching him afterwards felt like I was endangering him.

I sniffled and extracted myself from him.

"I'm sorry" I said, wiping the tears from my face. My mascara was a mess now.

I covered my face and left the Playroom, unable to say anything except...

"I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry...I'm sorry..."