You Bring Out The Beast In Me (Fuenciado fanfic)

Chapter Four

"You can't- you don't- I mean you do?" Jaime began hyperventilating and blushing. He covered his face and walked out.

"Does that mean I did something wrong?" I asked looking back at Mike mildly confused. He just shrugged and sat on the small couch in our room.

I sighed and chased after Jaime. I really don't see the problem here, I mean I said liked him. Isn't he supposed to be happy? "Can you talk to me?" I asked him standing on my front porch.

He just shook his head 'no'.

"Come on," I put my hand on his shoulder but he pulled away. I turned so I was standing in front of him and pulled his hands away from his face. "Can you just explain this to me?" I moved my head up and down gesturing to him.

"You can't like me." He said shaking his head. 

"What're you talking about? Why not?"

"Because I am me. You're you. I'm a lame punk rock junior and you're some super hot senior, who's the quarterback of the football team. You can't like me." He chokes out."I'm always sad. You don't need that in your life." 

 "So let me make you happy," I sighed looking at him hopefully. God, why is he being so complicated? I thought if you liked someone and they liked you back it was supposed to be a good thing. 

"No! Vic you don't get it. It's not just sadness. It's depression and anxiety too. You don't want to get yourself involved with me." He sat there shaking. Looking anywhere except at me, like he was afraid. His whole body shook at he cried harder.I sat there stumped. I don't move or utter a word for the longest time. I feel terrible, so fricking terrible. I don't know what to do. Here is this beautiful boy, crying, on my front porch and I'm starting to look like an idiot.

He's right though, I don't get it. I mean I've experienced being sad and it getting so bad to the point where my depression almost ate me alive.But I have a baby brother looking up to me and I never want him to see me the way I was. Nor do I ever want him to get to the point where I was. Even with my past I still don't get because, I'm not him. I don't go through what he goes through but that doesn't mean I don't want to get it though because I do. I just don't know how to say it. 

It's been a good five minutes of me ust standing here and him bawling. I think he's had enough because he wipes his eyes with the ends of his long sleeve. His eyes are puffy, red, and sad. He was about to walk away when I finally spoke up, "Hi-Me wait." He stopped dead in his tracks and waited. "You're right. I don't get it. Maybe I never will but let me try." I cried out. 

"N-no. I'm okay the way I am. I don't want "this" anymore. Besides you don't even like boys." He turned to me giving me saddest smile ever then walked away. 

Once again he was frick fracking right. I don't like boys but I like him. I watched him walk away untilI couldn't see him anymore. I decided it was just best to go to bed. 

Jaime's P.O.V

I can't stop shaking. I'm trying to gain enough air to say what I need to say in order for Vic to understand. It's not working. I'm constantly falling short for breath. I feel an anxiety attack coming. So I try my hardest to say what I'm thinking with my back turned. 

"N-no. I'm okay the way I am. I don't want "this" anymore. Besides you don't even like boys." I stuttered out trying my best to turn and give him a smile but, I know it looks like some four year old painted it there. I began to walk away wiping my tears hoping to god he'll call my name again. I messed up. I should've let him speak. I shouldn't have exploded like I did. I feel so bad. God, this is my problem. Why did I push him away? He liked me. This is why I'm single. I continue to walk my knees getting weaker and my heart getting heavier. I can't breathe. Oh god I'm going to black out. The tears are coming to quick. I have to stop.

I'm almost home. 

2 houses left. 

I see my front door and run. I run pass my family and up the stairs to my bedroom.

My head is spinning and my heart is beating out of control. "Fuck, Jaime, stop crying". I said to myself. I climb up onto my bed and hug my knees. I can't keep doing this. I feel like I'm going insane like something is eating me from the inside out. I feel like I'm suffocating. Why couldn't I just accept the fact that he liked me? I complicate everything. I cause my own problems. I wanted this, I wanted him to like me and now that I finally got what I wanted I'm in my bed room crying about it. I begin to take deep breaths in attempt to calm down. I need some here. I don't want to do anything stupid.  I began to look for my phone thinking about who to call when I heard a knock. 

"Not a good time right now." I called out to whomever was behind my door. 

"It's Mike I'm coming in, you better not be naked." He called through the door making me smile. He pushed open the door quickly and ran, jumping on me. "What happened?" He asked me  grabbing my face making sure I didn't look away from him. God, he looks like his brother. 

"Nothing. Why? What's sup?" I asked him trying to hide the fact that I was crying but I don't think its working. 

"Okay. Well if nothing happened why is my brother wreck?" He looked at me straight in the eye. 

"He's a wreck? What do you mean?" I asked Mike feeling worse then I did before.

"When he came in the house after talking to you he looked dead. I mean not shrivled up and pale like a dead person because that'd be weird ya know. Just think if Vic walked into the houe as a zombie that'd be so-"

He started rambling so I had to cut him off. "Mike!"

"Oh yeah. Right. He just looked sad. What'd you say? He told me to come check up on you." He looked at me curiously.

"Mike, you know that feeling when you like someone so much but you and that other person are nothing alike? And you can literally think of every reason why you shouldn't be with that person and you can't stop thinking about the negative responses you'll recieve if you are with that person? It's like that with Vic for me. I've had a crush on the boy since I was out of the closet and I just don't want to see him have to go through what I did when I told people I was gay. He's not even sure if he's gay. Who says that some hot girl wont just come and sweep him off his feet and he'll realize that dating me is gross? I'm scared. I'm so scared. I just don't want to lose my best friend because things got awkward between me and his brother. I don't want to be sad like I was. I don't want to lose what I have." By the time I'm done saying all that I've said I'm in tears and out of breathe.

"Okay. Woah. Chill. I love you Hi-me ok. I'm not going anywhere no matter how awkward things get between you and my brother. Just talk to him. Let him explain what's going on with him. Vic is to short to get a girlfriend in high school so chill." He chucked. "Lets go back to my house so you guys can kiss and make up." He gave me a huge smile and I blushed.

"We didn't kiss that many times okay." I smiled and got off my bed throwing my arm around Mike's shoulder.

Maybe Mike is right.

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Hey guys sorry for the wait. Uhm I'm also sorry for any mistakes I'm just trying to get this out as quick as possible. I want to say thanks for the votes and comments. Can this chapter get 5 votes and 6 comments? The next update will come a lot faster. ily all so much ok cx