'Dear Casey'

Chapter One- Pains of the Past

March 6th, 8:12pm

"Mum, please. It's not my fault! Tears streamed out of Kara's blue eyes, running down her pale face and landing on the brown floor beneath her. There was a sick feeling in her stomach, a mixture of the deepest of terror and the most horrible pain. Kara took a deep breath through her mouth, her nose was too swollen now with deep purple and black bruises travelling from her jaw to her eye.

She closed her eyes as her hands were ripped away from her face, she didn't want to see the monster doing this to her, because that monster used to comfort her, used to say she loved her. "The devil's finest trick is to persuade you that he does not exist." Kara couldn't remember where she heard that, but it was true. Her mum was the closest thing to the devil, all these years she'd said the only monsters in real life are humans, and she was the worst of them all.

Kara felt her back get thrown against the bench as a searing hot pain spread throughout her body, she could hear herself screaming and feel her body shaking, more with rage than sadness. She opened her eyes just enough so she could see her mother's boney fist bunched in her Panic! At the Disco T-shirt. Kara dared a look at the woman's face, normally so placid, pale and put together, now with her teeth grinding and green eye's searing through anything and everything.

She missed her true mother, the woman with a beautiful, shining smile and hopeful eyes as green as oak leaves. With overall's covered with dirt and wrists smelling like roses, with red hair so deep and beautiful, flowing around her shoulders. Someone who used to kiss her child on the head and her husband on the lips. The woman who every night before reading Cinderella, would tuck Kara in and tickle her feet before relaying the whole book with that confident voice that captivated even the least interested soul. Kara missed that mum, Kara missed her dad.

'It is your fault! You killed him! It's all your fault Kara!' She spat it in her daughter's face as she eased her fist out of the shirt. 'Why? Why would you do that!?'

Kara scrambled out of her mother's grip and took a gulp of uncrowded air.

'Go to your room Kara. I never want to see your face again.' Her voice was almost normal again, Kara's heart reached forward but she pushed her body backwards, through her bedroom door.

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Dear Casey,
It's been two hours since my mum hit me last. Out of those two hours, I cried for one, mostly for myself, partly for her. Don't ask why. The other hour, I ate for half of it. Anything and everything in my sight. And for the other half, I cried again. This time it was selfish of me to cry, because I have so much to be grateful for, but yet, I couldn't help myself.
Sometimes I cry for no reason, and I hit myself because I don't deserve to cry. I'm so selfish, God just look at how many times I have referenced myself.
Casey, I don't know if I can take it anymore. Please give me a reason to stay.
Kara.