Who Knew (Troyler AU)

Word count: 16,484

Based off the song Who Knew by P!nk.

Disclaimer: Lyrics may be posted out of order, but they correspond with the part that is subsequent to them, which is why they're like that.

Although there is no smut, self-harm, or abuse, this entire one-shot is triggering in general, so if you're very sensitive or easily triggered, I'd leave now.

Troye POV

//You took my hand, you showed me how
You promised me you'd be around
Uh huh, that's right
I took your words, and I believed
In everything you said to me
Yeah, huh, that's right//

People say there are a lot of ways to begin a story.

But really, there's only one way. And the way to determine how exactly you start a story, is to figure out what story you're telling. You have to be precise, or else the story may start out wrong, resulting in tangents and unneeded information.

The story I want to tell you isn't a good one, to be blunt. I don't want to tell you how it ends yet - there's a reason a story has a beginning and an ending - but I should be up front and let you know that my story isn't one you should strive to have. And looking back on it, I wonder if I should regret what happened; how could I not, considering all that has happened? But then I think of one important question, always ringing in my head, that the answer to is the very I reason I'm not too sorry about what happened, even if I would've personally chosen a different course, had I known everything at the time.

The question is:

Can I be forgiven for all I've done to get here?

I want to be.

I can.

I believe it. (( reference ))

Not the most concrete answer, I'm aware. But it'll have to do, because otherwise, I don't think I'll ever be satisfied. Not knowing is almost worse than knowing an awful truth, even if this one isn't the worst thing you could've expected.

Anyways, for the story. Knowing who I am, you probably have an idea of where this is going, factoring in all of the dramatics. Who would be involved in the story, and why they're involved. But you don't know what went down. You don't know how it all happened, even though anyone who owns a television or a magazine has a vague idea.

I'm going to tell you the full and unadulterated story of what really happened between Tyler Oakley and I.

Which is why I'm going to start from the day we met.

➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔ ➵♔

I was only seventeen years old when I first met Tyler Oakley.

It was one of the last days of Playlist Live, and we didn't really get a chance to hang out once. He was always busy with meet ups and panels and even the Mainstage, and I was busy meeting the few fans that actually came to see me. It was ridiculous, because he was the person I looked forward to seeing the most, out of all of the people I've met through YouTube, yet I've barely even talked to him.

At least we did get a chance to see each other. It was the day of Tyler's birthday, March 22, and he was talking to a few people I didn't recognize about some boring businessy shit. I approached the table quietly, suddenly caught up in the surreal realization that we were finally together. After talking on Skype and Twitter for months, to the point that it became a daily routine, I was finally going to be able to talk to him in person.