DOUBLE TAKE | wonhao

0.2

Tell me
Do you feel the love?

I felt bad for leaving Minghao in the joint, he has to pay the check on his own but mostly because he gave me this job and I cannot act more of a dick than I already am to him.

I do not know how he tolerates me and lets things go easily like nothing happened. I knew he couldn't do such terrible things. He was too pure for that. I only said those things because I felt like letting my envy and anger on him. The only thing he's done since I met him was take good care of me.. Fuck, now I feel even more terrible.

"Hey" I hear minghao behind me and I immediately grabbed him into my arms.

I didn't say anything, more of I couldn't. I had enough shame to embrace him but too much pride to talk nor apologize. I know, I'm an asshole.

"So are we going to sit down or what?" I cleared my throat and sat down by the log in front of a firepit with Hao.

"How'd you know I would be here?" Minghao looks at me with his head resting on his palm.

He chuckles, "You hag, We met here." I raised my eyebrows and he smiles in reaction.

Hao has such amazing memory... I couldn't remember anything about how we first met, probably because of too much heroin. Junhui's a complete dick for dragging me into drugs, he's a fine boy though. He does everything just to fend for himself and his brother, he's a real one.

Minghao calls out my name once again, and again, and again, for about one minute.

"Okay, what the fuck is up Hao" I look at him. He was rolled up in a ball.

It worried me. He does weird shit all the time and seldomly gets emotional. "Hao? Answer me"

"I.. I want to be friends with you."

"Hao, we've been friends for 2 years, what the fuck"

"No. I meant" he pauses. "I want to talk to you. Like really talk to you."

"Okay, let's talk..."

"Won, I'm gay" I was confused. Was he on drugs or something?

"Minghao I already know that."
He looks at me with pleading eyes, he wanted me to understand. But I couldn't. All I felt was confusion, what was he trying to tell me.

I had to answer somehow, "I only sleep with guys for money."

He looks away and sighs. "I fucking know that"

I was startled, he never swears. I'm even more confused now.

"Look, Hao. I really don't have any idea what you're trying to tell me. Can you please just go straight to the point?"

He looks up to the night sky and wipes the snot from his nose and tears from his pretty eyes, "I don't know... For me, I would love someone even if I wasn't paid"

"Minghao, you haven't even tried selling your body for money, and as far as I remember you've told me you have never had any non-platonic relationships before, you wouldn't know how it feels."

He looks at me, "Oh good lord... You have, haven't you?" I asked, raising my voice, I definitely wasn't expecting that.

"Yeah" he chuckles and I join him. He went silent for a  moment and looked at me, "And I love you, and you don't pay me." He burrows his face in between his legs and says something. I could only hear his muffled voice.

There was a short silence between us but felt like ages, "Hao-"

"I wanna kiss your so bad right now, I wanna hold your hands constantly, thinking of what would happen if you liked me back" he laughs. His laugh was visible of pain and regret.

"A.. alright, come here Hao, let's call it a night." I pat the space beside me and held him tenderly as he falls asleep. It was the least I could do as his best friend.