Loyalty | Levi x OC

5. Guilt

Begrudgingly pulling up to the makeshift camp sight for the Scouts to reconvene sent a spiral of guilt down my gut. Soldiers all reconvened with their squads as wagons were being re-positioned and cargo redistributed to make room for fallen comrades.

"Levi," Erwin called for me as he trotted up on horseback. "Status?"

"Tch," I spat. "I got Eren back... but my men..." I trailed off, glancing back towards the camp. I could see Emily tending to Eren's wounds as she wrapped him up with the other dark-haired girl by her side. Mikasa, I believe her name is. Giving Emily the news about Petra is going to hurt.

"Well, we can be so lucky that we got Eren back after all of this. Good work," Erwin replied.

"Yeah..."

"I'm sorry to hear about your men, Levi," He added quietly. "They were great soldiers."

I remained quiet, only looking at him through the corner of my eye. I understand why he told me to stay behind. I can't blame him for that. It's part of the job. As a soldier, and he as my commander, I need to follow his orders. He's my closest confidant and, while he can be incredibly selfish, he's also incredibly smart. He knew the Titan-shifter was here. He knew that they were likely in disguise as one of our own. But still, I can't shake the feeling that I could have been there sooner to apprehend the bitch and stop my men from dying needlessly.

Eld was betrothed to a woman back home and still provided for his mother.

Oluo, as young as he was, has a rather large family with several young siblings.

Gunther, as far as I'm aware, has two grandparents.

And Petra... I know she has her parents. I believe her to be an only child. She and Emily were close.

I watched the remaining squads work together to cover the recovered bodies. Some squad leaders came to speak to Erwin about the reports they gathered, interrupting our conversation. I couldn't help but watch Emily as she worked... wondering what I was even going to say to her. It's my duty to break the news. It should be me. By all means, it should be me. As a captain... but also as a friend. We're friends, right?

"Sir. We estimate about five to be unrecoverable," Peer, a squad leader, said to Erwin.

"Not even an arm or a leg?" Erwin asked sullenly.

"Sadly, the Titans didn't leave much behind. And honestly, sir, I think it would be best for the families if we didn't bring back what little there is."

"I'll have Meyer mark them down as 'missing'"

"Sir," Peer acknowledged. "Also, sir, our spotters report several Titans have emerged from the forest. Fortunately, none yet seem to be headed in our direction."

"We move out immediately. Inform the squads."

"No! I refuse! It's inhuman!" Dieter, one of Peer's men, shouted in protest as Erwin began to walk away.

"That's enough!" Peer snapped.

"We can't just leave him out here! He was there! I saw Ivan's body. He was right in front of us!"

"And if you didn't notice, there were Titans nearby. Go back and we could wind up dead ourselves," Peer retorted.

"So if they attack, we'll fight! It's what we do, right?" Dieter protested.

"Ivan and me, we grew up in the same town together. His parents are like family to me! I can't face them again if we leave him!" Jurgen, another soldier, added with tears in his eyes.

"Sentimental garbage!" Peer spat.

"Stop shrieking," I interjected.

"Captain Levi!" Dieter gasped.