right through me

3

as we're walking to where i'll be staying, sima shi stays quiet either because he knows how mad i still am or he just doesn't want to talk about it. either was fine, i was happy just walking in silence, my brain wasn't though. i was too occupied thinking about everything that happened that i didn't even realize we arrived and sima shi was standing in front of me.

he lifts my chin up to look at him, "stop overthinking, you did well back there, get some sleep. my father expects to see you for the war council meeting tomorrow." with that he walks away and all i can do is stare at him. was he always this gorgeous? this terrifying? knowing he can just take my heart and squash it anytime he wants? i hear a knock on my door and opened it to see my beautiful sworn sister standing there, "hi sister!" she smiles so brightly at me, which was a little off yuanji's  personality. she was always so 'to the point' especially being married to zhao.

"i just wanted to come check on you rylyn. congratulations on joining our ranks," she giggled out while sitting on the spare bench in my room. i smiled at her while joining her, "ah thank you sister. come on in," grabbing her hand and pulling her in.

as we catch up about our days, she hands me a small stack of papers, smiling softly at me, "knowing you i thought you would want to be prepared for tomorrow's meeting." i giggle at her, "i would be completely lost without you, yuanji."

she giggled as she left the room and i couldn't help but be so thankful to have her in my life. i laid down while reading these papers when i heard another knock. "rylyn, is yuanji with you by any chance?" i giggle and walked to the door, "she just left zhao, but can i ask you a question?" he smiles, "is it about my brother?"

my face turns red, "no no, maybe, i don't know. i keep getting this weird feeling around him. did i make a mistake joining this army? what if i disappoint him?" he chuckles and gives me a hug, "i've seen you fight ry, you're good. if my father and brother see potential in you then you won't disappoint them. besides, my brother sees more in you than you think."

sighing, i look up at him, "what's that mean?" he laughs while heading towards the door again, "you'll see how much you mean to my family soon enough. i know you're new to the army but you're not new to this kingdom." i sigh again and head back to my bed to read the papers.

next day~

i head to the war council meeting and see a lot of soldiers stare at me and whispering. why wouldn't they? i was never invited before. i notice they soldiers immedietly go quiet when sima shi came up behind me. he put his hand on my lower back, whispering, "don't mind them, they're mad you're a higher status." when he let his hand go i suddenly realize where his hand was felt like it was burning and i wanted him to come back.

god what's wrong with me, i go from being confident to desperately craving someone's touch. as i sit down i notice he's sitting across the table, i stare at him wondering how he's always so calm. he's also extremely gorgeous. my thoughts were interrupted by a soldier saying i'm not good enough to be here, and before anyone could speak, i cut in, "from what i know is you've done absolutely nothing for this army except bitch about how sima yi is a horrible ruler. so shut your fucking mouth."

i immedietly noticed what i said while sima yi and his two sons stare at me with shock, yuanji has a small smile on her face, jia chong looks like he's holding in a laugh, and everyone else just goes dead quiet and stares at me. the soldier speaks up, "you're new to this army, you don't know a damn thing little girl." zhao starts laughing knowing i'm about to get pissed off, "so you weren't talking to other soldiers saying sima yi is a mistake to wei? you didn't say that sima shi is weak and undeserving of any chance to rule? that zhao is a waste of space since he does nothing?" the soldier just stares at me with his mouth wide open, "shut your mouth, you don't know a damn thing."

i look over to jia chong and he gives me a wink, but it wasn't a flirty wink, he knows i can defend myself well. i look over to sima shi who has a proud smirk on his face, and sima yi tells the officer to get out of sight. when the officer walked by me he slapped my head which made me get up and get in his face, "don't ever touch me again. you've disrespected the people i care about enough, go before i kill you myself."

sima yi laughs his signature laugh as i sit back down and claps his hands, "very well done rylyn. you will turn into a brilliant soldier." i blush softly and excuse my bad behavior. i look up to sima shi smirking at me and my blush gets even worse. zhao leans over and whispers, "never going to be a disappointment to my family. also my brother can't stop staring at you." oh how i want to just sink in my chair and disappear.