The Ties That Bind: A Marble and BlackStar Adventure

Part Two

Alex felt his lips part, felt his lungs laboring to inflate, but he couldn't draw breath. The sight of Scott pushed up against Mitch, mouths tangled and their hands tearing at one another, had been like a solid punch to his diaphragm, driving all of his air out in a painful rush. Even now that they had drawn back from one another and were looking appropriately abashed, Alex couldn't move, couldn't do...anything.

"Alex..." Scott murmured and there were so many emotions layered in that one word. Agony, pleading, chagrin, and something else he couldn't place. Alex shifted his gaze to Mitch, not sure what to expect in those brown eyes. Mitch looked almost angry at first, like he'd been denied a treat and was preparing to retaliate. Then his gaze cooled into its usual frosty blankness that he adopted whenever Alex was around.

"Mitch, would you mind if I spoke to Scott alone for a moment?"

"I really would, actually. Because he and I need to have a conversation that is long overdue. But you two go ahead and have it out. I'll be out with the girls." He threw a scalding glance at Scott and left the room.

Scott watched him leave with a tortured expression. It wasn't like a lover being dumped, but something so much worse. Like a man about to lose a limb.

"Please let me explain," Scott said, turning his blue eyes on Alex, who was surprised to see them glazed with unshed tears.

He knew those tears would sway him, would weaken the intensity of his anger, so he looked away before speaking. "Yes, by all means, explain. Get on with it so you can return to your 'conversation' with Mitch." He put his hands on one of the shelves, knuckles whitening as his grip tightened. Hundreds of words catapulted through his brain but none of them fit. He was furious and sad and confused, and a little part of him was relieved that he hadn't been hallucinating the tension between the two of them. He felt Scott move behind him and he tensed, preparing to shake off whatever touch was coming. But no physical contact came. The other boy just stood there for a long, quiet minute.

"Alex," he finally said, his tone serious. "Alexander Kirk. I love you."

Alex whirled around. Scott was a few feet away, looking small somehow. Despite the words he'd just spoken, words that should have been joyful and touching, his eyes were bleak and not even the ghost of a smile could be seen on his lips.

Alex decided he must have heard wrong. The words just didn't fit. "What?!"

"I love you," he repeated softly. "I've been trying to figure out how to tell you for weeks. But I didn't know how to say it without also saying that about an hour before I met you, I kissed Mitch. It wasn't supposed to mean anything. I don't think it was anyway. But it happened and I should have told you."

"It literally happened before you knew I existed, Scott. You don't have to explain that to me. And you've been close for ages--I...I guess I understand that I will never understand the connection you two have."

"There's more though, obviously, and not just what you walked in on. So much more and I have no idea how to actually say this."

"Just talk to me," Alex said, taking a very small step forward to shrink the gap between them. He made himself focus very hard; hearing that Scott loved him made everything else kind of blurry.

Scott's shoulders slumped and he raked a hand through his hair. "The other day when we were on that mission at the voyeur club... We were in this room and things got carried away." He paused, running long fingertips over a crease in his forehead that didn't seem to want to iron out. "God, I don't want to sound like I wish it hadn't happened, but I don't want to lose you either. That's the whole fucked up thing about this, and why I kept putting it off..."