Sweetest Downfall

Chapter One

Loud musics. Dim lights. Smokes. Liquors. Party maniacs.

Everything in this place screams lively joyness. I should be enjoying and loving this place like i used to but fvck! Why cant i?

I drink the last shot of tequila i ordered a while ago. I had ordered lots of it that I lost count but it still doesnt work. I still feel empty. Still stirred and out of focus. I dunno why, i just, i just feel like it.

Sanay na naman ako sa ganitong gawain. I'd been doing this for three goddamn years and im so used to this. I always go out at night and party my ass till dawn. I used to felt relaxed and chilled in here and I never felt this way.

Well, not until tonight. And maybe that old man might be the reason.

Tumawag si Dad kaninang umaga at sinabing nandoon sya sa labas ng cottage na tinutuluyan ko sa isang first class resort somewhere here in palawan. At first hindi ako makapaniwala but then when i heard a knock on the door i began to wonder why.

Ever since I left home, we never saw each other again though he calls me sometimes and ill answer for a minute. All those years hindi nya naman ako pinapakailaman sa ginagawa ko and he never complained anything about it. He just continued fueling my bank account and settled everything I do.

But then i thought maybe because alam niya naman na bago ako magpakaganito ay isa naman akong ulirang anak awardee sa kanya. Ive been an obedient daughter to him. Never in my life with him did i disagreed with his decisions for me.

When i was still very young and all i just wanna do is play all day, he wanted me to learn the piano and go to ballet classes. I hate wearing ballerina dresses and my ears would bleed just hearing beethoven symphony no. 7 (which is by the way my dad's fave) but I followed him. In school, he told me that i must always stay to be the top in our class and so i study hard just to feed his wanting. He reprimands me to go out like any other teenager and refrain me from making friends with just anybody or entertaining suitors during puberty, i never complained.

Then in college days, when I thought I can finally choose something I want and not something he says, he prdered me to take business course instead of asking me what I really want. Back then I wanna be an artist. I really wamted to take fine arts and be a renown painter but im too shy and too afraid to break his order that i just kept my mouth shut. I again follow him and graduated with flying colors. After graduation, he wanted me to work asap in his company that he didnt even ask me if i want a two or three day vacation. Kahit regalo man lang sana sa pagiging cum laude ko pero wala, sabi nga nang bakla kong kaklase dati, bokya. and did my part but I got tired. And so one day nagpaalam ako sa kanya and lived the life I

Just as soon as he entered the door, he started telling me things i dont want to hear.

He made me reminded of those thoughts ive been getting rid off all these times. He had targeted something in me and i dont want it invading me.

I want to forget but damn! Its just too painful to bear and fvckin frustrating to endure. Di ko malimutan kaya eto ako ngayon, in some bar downtown, drinking and partying para makalimot at makapag pahinga sa pag iisip.

I stood up and begin walking my way to the dancefloor. Masaya at wild ang tugtog kaya naengganyo na din akong sumayaw.

The next thing i knew i was on the dance floor dancing my ass off with some jerks and bitches around me. Wala akong pakialam kung sino man ang kasayaw ko at kung saang parte man ng katawan ko ako hawakan ng kasayaw ko.

I need an escape from all those thoughts popping in my head.

Ng medyo makaramdam nko ng hilo at pangangalay dahil sa matagal na pagsasayaw ay bumalik na ulit ako sa bar stool na kinauupuan ko kanina. I searched a cigar in my pouch and lit up a stick.