Point of Views (part 1)

Cold Hearted

Age in the pov: 18+
Warning ⚠️: Self Harm
Don't read this point of view if you've had a traumatic life before, I just don't want to let you down.  This may bother you, so please don't read as this is not for you

Your POV:
I am [your name] I live alone in an apartment in [your hometown].  I have no friends.  My relatives lived far from me.  My parents got divorced.  I have a little sister who lives with my mother.  My mother doesn't want me to live with them because I have to be independent.  She is a mother to me who doesn't seem interested.  She and my father only fight every day when I was little and when they weren't divorced yet.

I just want to die, like it hurts because no one has ever hugged or comforted me. I don't always smile because it doesn't suit me.  Right now I'm in my bed listening to some music because it's the only thing that makes me feel better.  I go to school, I paid the tuition.  I cried, cried all day before my whole face looked like a mess and tired.  I also tried to sleep but I don't think it will work.  Sleep doesn't work for me.  The only thing I want is to just disappear and not come back.
<<<>><?><>>><<><<><>>>>€><
I was hungry so I decided to buy some food in the shop.  I changed into hoodie and pants.  I brought my phone, earphones and wallet.  I closed the door and went out.  The shop is not that far, so I go on foot.  I walked into the shop and the clerk said hello once I entered.  "Good morning ma'am what can I help you?"  she says.  "I want to buy [your favorite food] and [your favorite drink].  "Is that it?"  Says the clerk.  "Yes" I reply.  The employee gave me the food and drinks I ordered.  I paid and I leave the shop.  I return to my apartment with some food and drink in my hand.

Once I got to my apartment, I looked at my door number and went inside.  I sigh and put everything I bought on the table.  I used my phone while eating my food.  I listen to some music.  I played the song "Sweater Weather".

The next day I heard a knock on my door twice, I open it and it's my mother.  "Hey [your name] here I got you some food and stuff."  she says.  I look angry that why should she be here by now.  I look what she brought.  "No thanks. I already have my food and drink here. Do you think I'm poor to get that sh*t?"  I say.  "No, it's for you—..." I interrupted her and slammed the door in front of her.

A notification popped up from my phone.  I took a look at it and it's my mother again.  "I'm sorry [your name], I just want to meet you so much later for not meeting your senior year," she said.  I roll my eyes and sigh and answer her.  "Leave me alone. I already have a good life here  you take care of my sister and Never come here again, I don't need you."  I said in the message.

Later at night I couldn't sleep.  I have decided to hurt myself again.  I grabbed the cutter and scratched my arms a bit until it bleeds.  I cry and throw it.  I let myself fall to the ground and cry.  I throw the things that was next to me.

My head hurt so much that I couldn't even scream because I'm in an apartment, others probably would have been awake.  One thing I want to do is just fall asleep again.

The next morning, I woke up, my eyes still hurt from crying.  I'm going to university today.  I take a bath and get dressed.  A sweater to cover the cuts on the arms and a ripped jeans.  I don't want to wear something that shows my arms.  I took my bag and left without eating.  I don't want to eat anymore.  I hailed a taxi and went inside.  I arrived at my school and went to look for my class number.  I looked at the sheet and memorized my class number "room number 4".  I went to the room that is my class.  Everyone is seated.  I sat down and waited for the teacher to begin.

[Lunch Time]

It is already time for lunch and everyone is out.  A looking nerd came up to me and greeted me.  I walked away and left the classroom.  I don't want anyone to talk to me.  I don't want to show my fake smile anymore.  I just want to be alone.  I went into the dining area and ordered myself a drink.  After ordering I went to look for a seat.  I found a seat and sat down.  I started drinking my drink and grabbed the earphones to listen to some music.

A group of girls looked at me and began to gossip about me.  I looked at them and they stopped.  I left the area and went to my next class.  After class I went home, put on my pajamas and slept through the night.

Author
I don't even know what I'm writing right now or it's called cold hearted because I just let out all the ideas in my head right now.