Lovers? (Eddie Kaspbrak x reader)

chapter 12. Confessions of a man and the death of a demon

(Eddie's pov.)

Frickkkk this, Capital F R I C K this! I hate it here I hate these people and most of all I hate her! I'm going to die because of them! But not because of her... She saved me, frick her! She saved me! Why! She hates me! She's moved on! She's better! She's not a washed up loser like the rest of us! Ahhhhrg! I look over at her. She's laying there bleeding out and she's still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Frick her! I've not ever once seen her not look beautiful. I had her! Oh gosh I'm a idiot I had her! Her that was wayyyy out of my league the whole time. She wanted me, she loved me, and I left her. Like a fool I got up and I left her for my mom's doppelganger! I wish to beat my head straight into the ground untill there's nothing left. I shift my weight hissing in pain and I successfully lean closer to her my arm full of sharp stabbing pains and the bussing of numbness brushes against hers. I faintly hear Richie yelling from above me he's still here? Suddenly I realize she's not moving and the world stops. Everything snaps to silence while every nerve in my body is straining at full attention and sensitivity. She's fine, she's fine, she's fine, just cause you can't see it doesn't mean she's not breathing dumbbutt. But what if she's not! What if-. I feel myself start to shut down as the size of the pool of blood seeping out of her sets in. I hear a dry sob rip from my throat but don't exactly remember causing it to leave me. I hear my chest rising and falling rapidly but I can't feel it. The panic that slowly seeps into my veins feels like ice and in the same way after a few seconds? Minutes? Hours? It all fades to numbness while I grow weaker and weaker trying to muster up the strength to do anything, anything! To save her. "R-r-r-r..." my voice dies in my throat as he doesn't seem to hear me getting up and running away. She needs you! Oh gosh she needs you help somebody! Anybody! She's dieing! She's dead! Oh please don't let her be dead! I feel myself slipping as my vision goes black. I didn't want this, any of this, gosh if only I could just tell her I love y-.

(Time skip)

Everything feels dull and far away. I sense like in that of a dream that I'm being shaken as I slowly come too. "Eddie, Eddie! We got pennywise, man." Is there a hand on my face? "Eddie?" I burst out coughing. "H- ehg! -he- ehch! H-help her!" "Eddie!" "Eddie!" "Oh my gosh Eddie!" I try and fight back the comforting hands weakly pushing at them. "N-no!" "H-help HER!" My voice breaks as an all more resounding crack shakes the room everyone's eyes falling upon her. "Richie..." Beverly starts as he leans over her feeling over her looking for some sign of life has he lets out a quiet sob. "She's gone". "She's alright! No she's just hurt. We gotta get them out of here. She's just hurt Ben? Bill she's ok, we gotta get them outta here, Bev." He looks between the losers and her body (Y/n)'s body. My (Y/n)'s body... patting her face gently. Come on (Y/n) come on! COME ON you can't be dead... you just can't. Somewhere in all this I notice I've started crying "Riche..." "What?" "Honey, She's dead, we have to go come on. Come on, Richie." I feel myself being picked up by Ben. And another wave of realization hits me. Gosh I'm an idoit... they love her too, maybe not in the same way but they all love her as much as I do, heck Ben probably loves her more! I'm the one who's been telling her to piss off all these years... I'm the a-hole... me. "We gotta go," "come on buddy, come on". "Let her go man, we gotta go!" I begin to struggle as I see Richie clinging too her Stan approaching him Bill blabbing at his back". "NO!" "NO DON'T LEAVE HER!" "We can still her guys! WE CAN STILL HELP HER!" "Go! Go! Get up!" "Guys, we can still help her!" I try and struggle more but Ben just holds me tighter and all but launches himself into the other room with me. The whole way out as rocks fall and water splashes I can hear Richies screams and only think of one thing. Her. At one point I think I lose consciousness again. The next thing I know I'm hearing the creaking and rumbling of splintering wood and Richies screams of "(Y/n)! (Y/N)!" making my stomach churn even more. "We gotta get in there and Get her! She's still in there!" I vaguely register Ben suddenly looking around calling a different name. "Stan?" "Stan!" "Guys where's Stan!" Suddenly the losers are aware of another sobering fact. We forgot about Stan... for the last time.

(Pause for dramatic affect)

Then we hear it, a rustling under what must be the only still semi in tact part of the building. A corner peice that miraculously survived and was now trapping something under it. However given the noise it isn't something, it's someone. "Help me out of here and call an freaking hospital you dumb fricks! I refuse, I refuse! To let anyone else die!"

(Time skip)

I'd never been in a helicopter before, but apparently when your in such bad shape as in, in need of immediate surgery shape. You don't really get a choice I guess. I didn't want to leave the losers but the paramedics didn't really give me a choice about that either. I think Richie was still sobbing when we left.

(A/n) Ok I'm just gonna say it took s t r e n g t h ! To write this frickin thing... the amount of times I ended up watching Eddie die and Richie cry about it was NOT ok.
(A/n) (written after I finished the chapter) If I had less dignity I'd have split this chapter into a bunch of mini chapters to cause maximum pain, but I'm not that evil. However I'm leaving it here cause I feel like I'm obligated to cause atleast some pain like the story intended. Anyways... love ya'll! Have fun in the next one!