Shattered

Chapter 3

Pain.

It's hot without heat, bright without light. There's red energy all around him, inside of him, pulsing and pressing into every bone and he can't see, can't hear anything but the rushing of blood in his ears and he's dying, he knows it -

Stark. Stop fighting me.

Fighting. He's fighting. Hammer. Suit Designs. They can't have it, he won't build the Jericho no matter what they do him, he won't, he's seen now what Stark tech can do there's a grenade right next to him that bears his name and there's nothing he can do except wait for -

- the missile to detonate. She's crouched in the rubble, her brother's hand in hers and they're waiting and all she can is hope that she sees her parents on the other side she knows they're here somewhere their bodies but at least she won't need to mourn them for long they'll be together soon -

I'm not going to give him your designs, Stark. I've seen what they can do. But if you let me in it'll stop hurting.

- he's standing on a battlefield, and they've lost. He's worked and fought and done everything he could and it's not enough he should've done more and now they're dead and -

Your friends aren't dead. But they will be if Hammer doesn't think we're cooperating.

- and they're not dead but they're at gunpoint and it's on him to save them it always is which means it'll be on him when they fall -

- and Pietro did fall it felt like the world ended. But it didn't end. It went on, just like it had after the missile, and that wasn't fair, why didn't the world stop when she did, why did it get to keep turning without Mother and Father and Pietro and -

- he finds out via the phone and he's alone. He knows he should call someone, Rhodey, god knows Obie hadn't stuck around, but that's ok he said he'd take care of all the funeral planning and legal stuff so Tony could mourn in peace but he doesn't want to mourn, he wants them back, he's twenty-one but he feels seven years old yelling into the universe it's not fair but the universe isn't listening it never is -

He injected me with something, I'm not in full control, our memories are merging, and if I keep pushing I might hurt you but if I stop he could hurt the others. I won't give him anything but I could break your mind if you don't stop fighting back.

- he's always fighting back that's all he's ever done since Afghanistan and it's exhausting he's exhausted but he doesn't get to be exhausted there's so much more to do and to make up for -

- and it never stops. She's worked for Strucker, for Hydra, for Ultron, revenge that nearly brought about the end of the world and did bring about the destruction of her country. She set out to avenge her parents and destroyed their home instead and she's so -

- sorry, he knows he leaves a trail of blood and grief in his wake and the more he tries to prevent it the more bodies pile up there's no -

- winning, no bringing them back, no numbing their loss. Revenge didn't work, trying to fight in their memories is not working because they're gone they're gone they're -

- gone and he's staring at a grave as his father claps a hand on his shoulder and tells him not to cry because there's no use it won't change anything it won't rewrite the words Edwin & Ana Jarvis on the tombstone that is not nearly enough to commemorate them. Later he'll try, he'll rework code until he can hear his voice again, placing him into a computer that watches over him when he sleeps and takes control of the suit when he -

The suit. Tony blinks through the haze of scarlet, some dormant part of his mind going on full alert as he remembers where he is, why Wanda is probing in his head in the first place. And that's not happening, so he shoves back and -